Long,confusing..days!!

May allah bless you..Fadi,abdullah,summer,abdelra7man and sarah..

Your care is very spirit lifting..after all..allah gives me human beings who care…allah yes3edkom ya rab:)

آ 

I had a couple of long ,confusing days..

For the zillion time..again i’m put to choose between..my heart..my mind and my concious..

Should i let my mind rule so i can be on the safe side..or my heart so i can take some risks of persuing what i once believed would make me happy or my concious..and the last is tricky cause it won’t be just following what’s right…no…it would be choosing another safe side butآ in order to not taking risks of feeling bad about someone else..not me!!

آ 

Before those couple of days i thought i knew what i wanted and the image was clear..now…too blury cause each has a good point and all won’t be anything but taqwa allahآ  so…i’m confused..

آ 

Between those fogs..i had a very nice day yesterday having iftar with eno…she came to my place and i made her..shorbet el kharshoof..golash belgebnah..chicken panee and roz belkhalta…and she likes these things..we had a nice time and my fav.was when we watched t.v after iftar together and shared the program i liked and talked the issue we heard..

so nice to have that..so nice to have my friend with me..may allah bless her..

آ 

I had the sweetest phone call on my way back to work..amazing friendships appeared in my life now…i thank allah for that..

but that made me wonder…about other amazing calls that i wish i had too..is it right to want more even when i thank allah for what i have?

Or maybe some relations aren’t as i think..it is me who understands it as close and intimate but maybe it’s just not!!

آ 

I had a family reunion with my closest cousins..we discussed my special situation..what am i doing with my life..everyone said what she thought and i was as silentas ever..

Didn’t really know what to say and i couldn’t make them feel releived..so…we are having iftar together today insha2 allah..ofcourse they will do more talking…

I made them their favorite food to distract them:):)

Koosa belbashamel,golash tany,shorbet mushroom,roz belkhalta bardo,seniet la7ma belforn….all brand new and from scratch…(altabakh alrasmy lel3eela;)

آ 

i wish everything would turn out for the best…i wish i can relax and sleep ba2a..nono..i’m relaxed…but lost from the inside..

آ 

The great thing about all this..is that i’m closer to allah and i pray from the deepest bottom of my heart…allahoma taqabal..

آ 

May be allah will show mw a sign..maybeآ my doubts will be mistaken and maybe they aren’t but i’ll be unchained from all the worries..

آ 

Work is great…soooooooooooo exhausting but soo fulfilling..i am actually tired but it’s that sweet fatigue..you know?!

آ 

I love you all….

not any 7asheeeesh:P:P

really love you..

Advertisements

13 thoughts on “Long,confusing..days!!

  1. Hi Caller … We love you too …

    If I were you , I would choose what makes me OK conscious-wise , what makes 70% sense and what tickles my heart gently 🙂

    Ba3dein Kosa bel bashameil? Lately I don’t know what is what and which is which .. el mohem lazem eykoon kollo zaky tab3an .. I know you’re getting what I mean 😉

    Like

  2. Good to read from you. hope you will reach a decision about whats on your mind that makes you happy and in peace. take care dear Rasha..we love you too!

    Like

  3. Caller dear,
    Salam Allah 3alaykee ya o5tee,
    it was very good from you to open up your mind and speak out your thoughts and fears, wallah frank as usual ya 7elweh,
    let me tell you first that your situation is ok, actually you are in a perfect situation because you believe in Allah and that’s only what matters,
    plus, you say you consider intimacy in your relationship with people around you and let me tell you to be sure that they comprehend it that way too, I was in the same situation and lonely sometimes then I figured out people gather around me and they gather with each other when they see me, thank’s Allah it seems enno ana bajma3 ennas sawa when I’m around,
    for being confused you have to ask Allah and he’ll show you the path, that’s what I always do and he helps me and solves dilemmas for me,
    Love you.

    Like

  4. Caller dear,
    Salam Allah 3alaykee ya o5tee,
    it was very good from you to open up your mind and speak out your thoughts and fears, wallah frank as usual ya 7elweh,
    let me tell you first that your situation is ok, actually you are in a perfect situation because you believe in Allah and that’s only what matters,
    plus, you say you consider intimacy in your relationship with people around you and let me tell you to be sure that they comprehend it that way too, I was in the same situation and lonely sometimes then I figured out people gather around me and they gather with each other when they see me, thank’s Allah it seems enno ana bajma3 ennas sawa when I’m around,
    for being confused you have to ask Allah and he’ll show you the path, that’s what I always do and he helps me and solves dilemmas for me,
    Love you.

    Like

  5. Dear Sister,

    Every one has his own ways of dealing with issues that face one in one’s life. But I follow the following process:

    1. I evaluate the issue on the basis of Allah’s rules and regulations if it passes and there is no conflict . Then,

    2. I will pass it by my brain and see if it has any validity, possibility, and long term effect on me and others.

    3. once it passes all of the above, I see where I stand on it emotionally and feelings wise

    now that may sound to be so rigid, but it’s by case to case basis, and flexible according to the issue and it’s type.

    Issues of the heart, love and romance has to go throught the compliance with sharee3a filter before I get deeper into it. As we always tend to close an eye when ot comes to the people we love.

    Sometimes some issues cannot be dealt with in the same sequence but your own inner judge can tell you which way you should go, as its said"Qalb elmu2men daleeluh"
    Thats in things that are not clear cut.

    Irrespect, I hope Allah will guide you to the best by saying"
    Allahum areeni al7aqa 7aqan warzuqni etiba3ah , wa2reeni albatil batilan warzugni ejtinabah" , "allahuma 2ghninee be7alalik 3an 7aramik, wa bita3atik 3an ma3siyatika, wa bifadhlika 3aman siwak"

    Like

  6. My Dear Rasha ..
    I can sense your confusion in your words .. when one is lost between thoughts , that he cannot make up his mind , and no one can really take the decision for us , its only you who can take it , people around you can advise , but no one will take the responsibility to the verdict you’ll take .. Decision might be one of the hardest things , , I for instance have hard time taking them .. but , at some pint one have to choose .. you should consider all factors, and if I were you , I’d do as much iste7’ara prayer as I can , it will clear your vision to see the right decision inshallah ..
    Allah ywaf2ek ya rab 🙂 best of luck

    Like

  7. Asalam 3alaykom,
    Thank you all precious friends for your support..

    Fadi..this is the kind of equation that MR.x would do:):):P

    Abed..allah yebarek lak:)

    Summer..Thank you so much for that sweet comment:)

    Hamede..ameen dear friend:)

    Sarah rose..i know sweety:)

    Jerusalem..wallah enek bet7esy beya..allah bless you dear..:)

    Abdullah..your way is precious and effective..no doubt..jazak allah khairan for your do3aa2:)

    Danah..you figured out the point exactly…no one will make the call for me..yes..and estekharah is very very soothing..sob7an allah..thank u so much dear for being such a smart friend:)

    Like

  8. Rasha w eno hai esemha kheyaneh :((( keef btejtem3o bedonna .. mamno3 :/

    Rasha , daiman allah byeb3atelna shi ysabberna fi 3ezz el2aw2at elsa3beh , w el7mdullah eno 7atta w inte ta3bane fi ashia2 kteer 7elwe 7awalaike .. Allah kareem w alah ykhaffef 3n eljamee3 ya rb.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s