May allah bless you..Fadi,abdullah,summer,abdelra7man and sarah..
Your care is very spirit lifting..after all..allah gives me human beings who care…allah yes3edkom ya rab:)
I had a couple of long ,confusing days..
For the zillion time..again i’m put to choose between..my heart..my mind and my concious..
Should i let my mind rule so i can be on the safe side..or my heart so i can take some risks of persuing what i once believed would make me happy or my concious..and the last is tricky cause it won’t be just following what’s right…no…it would be choosing another safe side butآ in order to not taking risks of feeling bad about someone else..not me!!
Before those couple of days i thought i knew what i wanted and the image was clear..now…too blury cause each has a good point and all won’t be anything but taqwa allahآ so…i’m confused..
Between those fogs..i had a very nice day yesterday having iftar with eno…she came to my place and i made her..shorbet el kharshoof..golash belgebnah..chicken panee and roz belkhalta…and she likes these things..we had a nice time and my fav.was when we watched t.v after iftar together and shared the program i liked and talked the issue we heard..
so nice to have that..so nice to have my friend with me..may allah bless her..
I had the sweetest phone call on my way back to work..amazing friendships appeared in my life now…i thank allah for that..
but that made me wonder…about other amazing calls that i wish i had too..is it right to want more even when i thank allah for what i have?
Or maybe some relations aren’t as i think..it is me who understands it as close and intimate but maybe it’s just not!!
I had a family reunion with my closest cousins..we discussed my special situation..what am i doing with my life..everyone said what she thought and i was as silentas ever..
Didn’t really know what to say and i couldn’t make them feel releived..so…we are having iftar together today insha2 allah..ofcourse they will do more talking…
I made them their favorite food to distract them:):)
Koosa belbashamel,golash tany,shorbet mushroom,roz belkhalta bardo,seniet la7ma belforn….all brand new and from scratch…(altabakh alrasmy lel3eela;)
i wish everything would turn out for the best…i wish i can relax and sleep ba2a..nono..i’m relaxed…but lost from the inside..
The great thing about all this..is that i’m closer to allah and i pray from the deepest bottom of my heart…allahoma taqabal..
May be allah will show mw a sign..maybeآ my doubts will be mistaken and maybe they aren’t but i’ll be unchained from all the worries..
Work is great…soooooooooooo exhausting but soo fulfilling..i am actually tired but it’s that sweet fatigue..you know?!
I love you all….
not any 7asheeeesh:P:P
really love you..