Coming to an end..

I can see some hope now..insha2 allah..

It is coming to an end..The page i printed slowly and finely for eight long years…

The same page that caused me heartaches and disappointments…the same page that i chose to put an end to..

I can see it fading away now..with all it’s hurt..joy…bitterness..shocks and blessings..

Just like a genuine manuscript written in ancient ink and thrown away in the sea…i can see the ink..dissolving away from the page in smokey blue circles…fading away…vanishing…

آ 

This is what i wanted..this is what i had to do to save what remains of me and my home..

This is the right i am claiming..the right i was given by allah…mercy to my deprived soul..

This is my last hope ..to revive again..breath some fresh air..undust my dress and my soul..

Quoting Eno…it takes time!!

Yes it does..it will..and time is the most scary thing i can think of right now…

No one will ever feel what i went through…So maybe you’ll think I’m crazy when i say this::

آ 

I am sad it ended…just like I’m sad it ever started!!

Sad i made the mistake..and sad i paid for it..

Yesterday when i was sitting with eno by the Nile..i kept looking at those boats floating near by..and i really hoped that maybe a year from now..i can sit with her in the same place and remembering this phase…and maybe…just maybe…i can smile at how all this pain turned into a blessing..

My faith and hope is in allah..he knows i tried..he knows my heart is pure..he knows that hisآ love is my aim and my dream…آ 

آ 

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12 thoughts on “Coming to an end..

  1. ط§ظ„ط³ظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ظ„ظٹظƒظ… ظٹط§ ط±ط´ط§
    ط§ظ„ط­ظ…ط¯ ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط§ظ†ظƒ ط¨ط¯ط£طھظ‰ طھط­ط³ظ‰ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ… ظ†ظ‡ط§ظٹظ‡ ط§ظ„طھط¬ط±ط¨ظ‡
    ظ…طھط³طھط؛ط±ط¨ظٹط´ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ„ط¬ظ…ظ„ظ‡ ط¯ظ‰
    ط¯ظ‡ ط¨ط¯ط§ظٹظ‡ ط§ظ„ط´ظپط§ط، ظˆ ط§ظ„ط¹ط§ظپظٹظ‡ ط§ظ† ط´ط§ط، ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡
    ط§ط­ظ†ط§ ظ„ظ…ط§ ط¨ظٹط­طµظ„ظ†ط§ ط¬ط±ط­ ظپظ‰ ط¬ط³ظ…ظ†ط§ ط¨ظ†ط­ط³ ط¨ط£ظ„ظ… ظپظ‰ ط§ظ„ط§ظˆظ„ ظˆ ظ„ظ…ط§ ط¨ظ†ط¯ط§ظˆظٹظ‡ ط¨ظٹط®ظپ ط§ظ„ط§ظ„ظ… ط¨ط§ظ„طھط¯ط±ظٹط¬ ظˆ ط´ظˆظٹظ‡ ط´ظˆظٹظ‡ ط§ظ„ط¬ط±ط­ ط¨ظٹط®ظپ ط®ط§ظ„طµ ,طµط­ظٹط­ ط¨ظٹطھط±ظƒ ط§ط«ط± ظ„ظƒظ† ط¨ظ†ظƒظˆظ† ط®ظ„ط§طµ ط®ظپظٹظ†ط§ ظ…ظ†ظ‡

    ط§ظƒظٹط¯ ط­طھظ…ط± ط¨ظٹظƒظ‰ ط§ظٹط§ظ… طµط¹ط¨ظ‡ ط¬ط§ظٹظ‡ ط¨ط³ ط§ظپطھظƒط±ظ‰ ظƒظ„ط§ظ…ظ‰ ط§ظ„ط¹ظ„ط§ط¬ ظ„ط§ط¨ط¯ ظ…ظ†ظ‡ ظˆ ط¯ظ‡ ط¨ط¨ط³ط§ط·ظ‡ ط§ط³ظ…ظ‡ ط§ظ„طµط¨ط± ظˆ ط§ظ„ظٹظ‚ظٹظ† ط¨ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط§ظ†ظ‡ ط³ط¨ط­ط§ظ†ظ‡ ظˆ طھط¹ط§ظ„ظ‰ ط­ظٹظƒظˆظ† ط¬ظ†ط¨ظƒ

    ظ„ظˆ ط¹ظ…ظ„طھظ‰ ظƒط¯ظ‡ ط§طھط£ظƒط¯ظ‰ ط§ظ† ط¨ط¹ط¯ ظپطھط±ظ‡ ظ…ط´ ط­طھط­ط³ظ‰ ط¨ط£ظ‰ ط§ظ„ظ… ظˆ ط­طھظƒظˆظ†ظ‰ ط§طھط¹ظ„ظ…طھظ‰ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‰ ظپط§طھ ط¹ط´ط§ظ† ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‰ ط¬ط§ظ‰

    ط±ط¨ظ†ط§ ظٹظ‚ظˆظٹظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ„ظ‰ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‰ ط¬ط§ظ‰ ظ„ط§ظ†ظ‡ط§ ط§ظ‡ظ… ظ…ط±ط­ظ„ظ‡ ط­طھظ…ط±ظ‰ ط¨ظٹظ‡ط§ ظˆ ط­طھط¹ط¯ظٹظ‡ط§ ط¨ط³ظ„ط§ظ… ط§ظ† ط´ط§ط، ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡

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  2. ط¹ظ„ظٹظƒظ… ط§ظ„ط³ظ„ط§ظ…..
    ظ…ط´ ط¹ط§ط±ظپظ‡ ظ„ظٹظ‡ طھط¹ظ„ظٹظ‚ظƒ ط§ظ†طھ ط¨ط§ظ„ط°ط§طھ ط¨ط­ط³ظ‡ ظ…ط´ ظƒظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ط§ط¯ظ‰ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‰ ط¨ظٹطھظ‚ط§ظ„ ظپظ‰ ط§ظ„ظ…ظ†ط§ط³ط¨ط§طھ ط¯ظ‰..
    ط¨ط­ط³ ط§ظ† ظˆط±ط§ظ‡ ظˆط¬ط¹ ظˆ طھط¬ط§ط±ط¨..
    ط¨ط§ط®طھطµط§ط±..ط§ظ†ط§ ظ…طµط¯ظ‚ظ‡ ظƒظ„ط§ظ…ظƒ..ظ…طµط¯ظ‚ظ‡ ط§ظ†ظ‰ ط§ط¨طھط¯ظٹطھ ط§ط®ظپ..ظˆ ط¯ظ‡ ظˆط¬ط¹ ط§ظ„ط´ظپط§ط،..
    ط¬ط²ط§ظƒ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط®ظٹط±..ط±ط¨ظ†ط§ ظٹظƒط±ظ…ظƒ ظٹط§ ط­ط³ظٹظ†

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  3. ظ…ط´ ط¨ظٹظ‚ظˆظ„ظˆط§:ط§ط³ط£ظ„ ظ…ط¬ط±ط¨ ظˆ ظ„ط§ طھط³ط£ظ„ط´ ط·ط¨ظٹط¨
    ط§ظ†ط§ ط¨ظ‚ظ‰ ط§ظ„ط§طھظ†ظٹظ†
    ط£ظ‰ ط®ط¯ظ…ظ‡

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  4. ط§ظ„ط³ظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ظ„ظٹظƒظ…
    ط­ط§ط¬ط© ط¬ظ…ظٹظ„ط© ط§ظ†ظƒ ط¨ط¯ط£طھظٹ طھظˆطµظ„ظٹ ظ„ط¨ط¯ط§ظٹط© ط§ظ„ظ†ظ‡ط§ظٹط©…ط§ط¨ط´ط±ظٹ ط¨ط§ظ„ظپط±ط¬ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ظ‚ط±ظٹط¨ط§

    ط²ظٹ ظ…ط§ ظ‚ظ„طھ ظ‚ط¨ظ„ ظƒط¯ط§ ظƒظ„ ظ…ط­ظ†ط© ط¨طھط¹ط¯ظٹ ط¹ظ„ظٹ ط§ظ„ظˆط§ط­ط¯ ط¨ظٹظƒظˆظ† ظپظٹظ‡ط§ ظ…ظ†ط­ط©…..
    ظ…طھط²ط¹ظ„ظٹط´ ط¹ظ„ظٹ ط§ط®ط·ط§ط¦ظƒ ظپظٹ طھط¬ط±ط¨طھظƒ ظˆط¹ظ„ظٹ ط§ظ„ط§ظ„ظ… ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹ ظˆط¬ط¯طھظٹظ‡ ظپظٹظ‡ط§…ط¹ظ„ظٹ ظ‚ط¯ط± ط§ظ„ط§ظ„ظ… ظˆط§ظ„ظ…ط¹ظ†ط§ظ‡ ظ‡طھظ„ط§ظ‚ظٹ طµظ„ط§ط¨ط© ظˆط®ط¨ط±ط© ظˆظ‚ظˆط© ظپظٹ ظ…ظˆط§ط¬ظ‡ط© ط§ظ„ظ…ظˆط§ظ‚ظپ ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹ ط¨ط¹ط¯ ظƒط¯ط§
    ط§ظ„ط¯ظ†ظٹط§ ط¯ط±ط§ ط§ط¨طھظ„ط§ط،….
    ط¹ظ„ظٹ ظپظƒط±ط© ظ…ظ† ط²ظ…ط§ظ† ط¬ط¯ط§ ظ…ظƒطھط¨طھط´ ظƒظ„ط§ظ… ط¨ط¬ط¯ ط²ظٹ ظ…ط§ ط§ظ†ط§ ط¨ظƒطھط¨ ط¯ظ„ظˆظ‚طھظٹ

    ط¨ط³ ظ„ظٹظ‡ ط§ظ„ظ†ط§ط³ ط¨طھط¨طµ ط¹ظ„ظٹ ط§ظ„ظ…ط´ظƒظ„ط© ظ…ظ† ط¬ظ†ط¨ ظˆط§ط­ط¯ ط¨ط³

    ط§ظٹ ظ…ط´ظƒظ„ط© ظپظٹ ط§ظ„ط¯ظ†ظٹط§ ظ„ظٹظ‡ط§ ط¬ظ†ط¨ظٹظ† …ط¬ظ†ط¨ ظ…ط¸ظ„ظ… ظƒط¦ظٹط¨ ظˆظƒظ„ظ‡ ط§ظ„ظ… ظˆط­ط³ط±ط© …ظˆط¬ظ†ط¨ ظ…ط¶ط¦ ظƒظ„ظ‡ ط£ظ…ظ„ ظˆطھظپط§ط¦ظ„

    ط¹ظ„ظٹ ظپظƒط±ط© ط§ظ†ط§ ظ…ط´ ط¨ظƒطھط¨ ط±ط¯ ظˆط®ظ„ط§طµ ط¨طھظپط²ظ„ظƒ ظپظٹظ‡ ط§ظˆ ظ„ظ…ط¬ط±ط¯ ط§ظ†ظٹ ط§ط´ط§ط±ظƒ ظپظٹ ط§ظ„ط²ط­ظ…ط©
    ظ„ط§…..ط§ظ†ط§ ط¨ظ‚ظˆظ„ ظƒظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ظ† ط§ط²ظ…ط§طھ ظƒطھظٹط± ط§ظˆظٹ ظ…ط±ظٹطھ ط¨ظٹظ‡ط§….ظ„ط¯ط±ط¬ط© ط§ظ†ظٹ ظ‚ط¹ط¯طھ ظ…ط±ط© ظ…ط¹ ظ†ظپط³ظٹ ط§ط´ظˆظپ ط§ظ†ط§ ظ†ط¬ط­طھ ظپظٹ ط§ظٹظ‡ ظپظٹ ط­ظٹط§طھظٹ….ط¨ظƒظ„ طµط¯ظ‚ ظ„ظ‚ظٹطھ ظ†ظپط³ظٹ ظپط´ظ„طھ ظپظٹ ظƒظ„ ط­ط§ط¬ط©….
    ط¨ط³ ظپظƒط±طھ ظپظٹ ط­ط§ط¬ط© ظ„ط°ظٹط°ط© ط§ظˆظٹ
    ظ„ظ‚ظٹطھ ط§ظ†ظٹ ظ†ط§ط¬ط­ ط¬ط¯ط§ ظپظٹ ط§ظ„ظپط´ظ„…..ط­ط³ظٹطھ ط¨ط§ظ„طھظ…ظٹط² ظˆط§ظ†ظٹ ط§ظ†ط³ط§ظ† ظ…ط®طھظ„ظپ ط¹ظ† ط§ظ„ط§ط®ط±ظٹظ†
    ظˆط§ظ„ط§ظ…ط± ط¨ظ‚ظٹ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ†ط³ط¨ط§ظ„ظٹ ط¬ظ…ظٹظ„ ط¬ط¯ط§ ظˆظ…ط¹ط¯طھط´ ظ…طھط¹ظƒظ†ظ† ط²ظٹ ط§ظ„ط§ظˆظ„
    ظˆطھظپظƒط±طھ ظپظٹ ط­ظƒظ…ط© ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط¹ط² ظˆط¬ظ„ ظˆظ„ظٹظ‡ ط§ظ†ط§ ط¨ظٹط­طµظ„ظٹ ظƒط¯ط§….ط§ظƒظٹط¯ ظپظٹ ط®ظٹط±….ظ„ط§ط²ظ… ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹ ط¨ظٹط­طµظ„ ط¯ط§ ط®ظٹط± ط¨ط³ ط§ظ†ط§ ظ…ط´ ط´ط§ظٹظپظ‡ ط§ظˆ ظ…ط´ ظ‡ط¹ط±ظپ ط¯ظ„ظˆظ‚طھظٹ
    ظˆط¨ظ‚طھ ط§ظٹ ظ…ط´ظƒظ„ط© ط§ظˆ ط§ظٹ ظ…ط­ظ†ط© ط¨طھط¹ط¯ظٹ ط¨ظƒظ„ ط³ظ‡ظˆظ„ط©…ظˆط§ظ†طھط¸ط± ط§ظ„ظ…ظ†ط­ط© ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹ ظپظٹظ‡ط§

    ظ…طھط²ط¹ظ„ظٹط´ ظٹط§ ط§ط®طھ ط±ط´ط§ ط¹ظ„ظٹ ط§ط­ط³ط§ط³ظƒ ط¨ط§ظ„ط§ظ„ظ……..ط²ظ…ط§ظ† ظƒط§ظ†ظˆط§ ط¹ظ„ط§ط¬ ط§ظ„ط§ظ…ط±ط§ط¶ ط¨ط§ظ„ظƒظٹ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ†ط§ط±….
    ط§ظ†طھظٹ ظ‚ظ„طھظٹ:

    My faith and hope is in allah..he knows i tried..he knows my heart is pure..he knows that his love is my aim and my dream…

    ط§ظ†طھظٹ ط¹ط±ظپطھظٹ ط§ظ„ط³ظƒط© ط§ظ„طµط­….ط§ظٹ ط­ط§ط¬ط© ط¨ط¹ط¯ ظƒط¯ط§ طھظ‡ظˆظ†…..ظ‚ط¯ ظٹظƒظˆظ† ط§ط¨طھظ„ط§ط¦ظƒ ظ„طھظ†ط¨ظٹظ‡ظƒ ظˆظ„طھط²ظƒظٹط±ظƒ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط¹ط² ظˆط¬ظ„
    ظˆط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ظ„ط±ظƒط¹طھظٹظ† ظپظٹ ط¸ظ„ط§ظ… ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹظ„ ط®ظٹط±ط§ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ„ط¯ظ†ظٹط§ ظˆظ…ط§ ط¹ظ„ظٹظ‡ط§….

    ط³ظ„ط§ظ…

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  5. ط§ظ„ط­ظ…ط¯ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط¹ظ„ظ‰ ظƒظ„ ط´ظٹط،, ط£ظƒظٹط¯ ط§ظ„ظ…ط´ط§ط¹ط± ط§ظ„ظ„ظٹ ط§ظ†طھظٹ ظپظٹظ‡ط§ ظ…ظ† ط£طµط¹ط¨ ظ…ط§ظٹظƒظˆظ†, ظˆط§ظ„ط­ظ…ط¯ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط§ظ†ظˆ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط§ط®طھط§ط±ظƒ ظ„ظ‡ط°ط§ ط§ظ„ط¨ظ„ط§ط، ط§ظ„طµط¹ط¨.

    ظٹط¹ظ†ظٹ ظ„ط§ط²ظ… ط§ظ„ط­ط²ظ† ظˆط§ظ„ط§ظ„ظ… ظٹط§ط®ط° ظˆظ‚طھظ‡ ظˆظ…ط¬ط±ط§ظ‡, ظˆظ‡ط°ط§ ظ‡ظˆ ط§ظ„ط·ط±ظٹظ‚ ط§ظ„ط·ط¨ظٹط¹ظٹ, ظ„ط§ط²ظ… ط§ظ„ظ‚ظ„ط¨ ظٹظˆطµظ„ ظ„ظ‚ظ…ط© ط§ظ„ط­ط²ظ†, ط¹ط´ط§ظ† ظٹط±ط¬ط¹ ظ‚ط§ط¯ط± ط§ظ†ظˆ ظٹظ‚ظپط² ظ„ظ‚ظ…ط© ط§ظ„ط³ط¹ط§ط¯ط© ط¨ط¹ط¯ظ‡ط§ ط§ظ†ط´ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡,

    ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ظ…ط¹ط§ظƒظٹ

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  6. Hi Caller ..

    I won’t say a lot here , but please remember that the sun will always shine like it always did 🙂

    All the best wishes in my prayers.

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  7. ط§ظ„ط³ظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ظ„ظٹظƒظ…..
    ط¬ط²ط§ظƒ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط®ظٹط± ظٹط§ طµط§ط¨ط±..
    ظˆ طµط¯ظ‚ظ†ظ‰ ط§ظ†ط§ ط¹ط§ط±ظپظ‡ ط§ظ†ظƒ ظ…ط´ ط¨طھظƒطھط¨ ظˆ ط®ظ„ط§طµ..ط§ظ†ط§ ظپظٹظ‡ ط­ط§ط¬ظ‡ ظƒط¯ظ‡ ط¹ط¬ظٹط¨ظ‡..ط¨ط­ط³ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ†ط§ط³ ط§ظ„ظƒظˆظٹط³ظ‡ ط­طھظ‰ ظپظ‰ ط§ظ„ظ…ط¯ظˆظ†ط§طھ..
    ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ظٹظƒط±ظ…ظƒ

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  8. ط§ظ„ط³ظ„ط§ظ… ط¹ظ„ظٹظƒظ…..طµط­ ظٹط§ ط¹ط¨ط¯..
    ظ…ظپظٹط´ ط­ظ„ط§ظˆظ‡ ظ…ظ† ط؛ظٹط± ظ†ط§ط±!!
    ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ظٹظ‡ظˆظ† ظˆ ظٹط³طھط± ظپظ‰ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‰ ط¬ط§ظ‰..
    ط¬ط²ط§ظƒ ط§ظ„ظ„ظ‡ ط®ظٹط±..

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  9. aslam 3alaykom fadi…u don’t need to say anything..
    and hey..the sun will shine tomorrow;)
    and another thing…that one you sent me..remember??
    it never makes me smile..too sad:D:D

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  10. as i told u when u asked that "a year from now" question.. yes insha2allah we will smile and remember what happened to us just as a long hard experience.. but at the time we will be stronger and happier insha2allah..

    it takes time ya so3ad..!

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