She made a great point in one of the few times she did any talking when i visited her.
I was in tears when i started to raise my voice a little bit, talking with so much frustration and saying : Why do i always do that…why am i following the same pattern and doing the same mistake? Why does my mind shut down completely the momentآ i want something soآ much even though it is so CLEAR it’s wrong?
She told me: STOP!! Why is disabling! and it has no short term answer, instead ofآ letting it trap u in an endless pitآ what should u do?
I stoped the next tear from rolling and said after a moment of deep search: I can decide not to follow the pattern any more.
She said:آ EXACTLY, but does that guarantee that it won’t happen again?
I said: I don’t know…
She said: It doesn’t…look, deciding not toآ do something is the best thing we can do yet- just like in business – there’s always a risk there…keeping that in mind and accepting itآ is a must on that ride…we can stumble and fall and stumble again and fall and it’s ok as long as we are still decisive that we want to stop it someday…as life experiences don’t come in the same shape and form which may decieve us that a certain situation isn’t the pattern while it is….and the answer to the why may come along the road and may not.. but reaching the goal will happen!
No more whys for me…just an eye wide open on the decisions…آ آ آ آ