A great manifestation of how my mind shuts when i want something so bad:
I want someone because I think he’s great and perfect and harmonious and all the bull shit that ever been dumped so my mind would shut and I have a visualآ malfunction that would blind me from seeing what a complete perverted bastard he is…result= booooooooooooooooooom!!!!!!!آ
I want to be tan…summer blushed me into a nice tan which i liked to get more of so again that mind which didn’t need much effort to realize that a very fair skin gets BURNED when exposed to the sun…result= fire!!!!!!آ
I want to be slim to fit the tons of NEW NICE outfits i bought when i was in a hopefull mood and which i grew to big for them when i let the freeakin’ depression shut down my appetite controlers. so again, I decide to get back on track and excercise NOON time under a killing sun…result= darbet shams!!!!!!
The strangest thing is that i NEVER want somethingآ and turns out good for me…
what?? am i a self destructive machine walking on two legs???
Explains…the over smooking…over eating…lack of sleep and over working- when i had the chance- and over spending!!!
The strange thing is that i have the ” Sound of music ” song humming in my head…WHY???
What does it have with my mood and why is it the moulin rouge version?!
The hills are alive…with the sound of music!!!!!!!
Oh, help me god!