I used to see my dad in studios more than I could ever see him in his house…

He was there all the time. A couple of studios were near by my house…

And to me, it was torture that I had to go through. I never liked it there…again…i felt alienated the moment I would step in…

From the second I’d enter the building. I would feel the chilling atmosphere. It is always so cold…freezing…and because the walls are isolated you feel shut in another world…day and night are equal…you will never know…

And the people…sound engineering rule the scene. Every studio in the building have one or two of those pals… back in the eighties they had limited role in the whole thing but after that every one decided that he wanted to be upgraded to conductor…

Any song could take from three days to one week to be recorded and mixed…

Studios are the kitchens of the whole recipes and the lab of the explosive equation…

The composer pays by the hour and he can be there for 48 hours.non- talk work sleep and do anything else..

The scene that just can’t leave my mind was of the two S.E.taking dope right in the lobby in front of the passers…

That just clinged…they were in their twenties and I was about sixteen and they would always appear to be nice and polite…and suddenly that was it…

There is poison in the kitchen. Scared me to death. What is scarier is that afterwards while talking to my dad about it. Because he was trying to give me a life lesson on the run. I found out that most of them do…WHY? Was the big question…?

I heard a lot of answers but the truth is. It’s an ice ball. The more it rolls the bigger it gets…

When you start devaluing a small sin. In your eyes…you will sure be dragged to more sins…bigger sins…

And down the hill they go…



*my backstage memories carved who I am…

It is healing for me to put them in front of my eyes instead of inside my heart…

You may not like them or think why them

But I tell you. There are thousands that think that this kind of life is glamorous and they fight to get into the pit…

This is my message to them…



14 thoughts on “BACKSTAGE..studios!

  1. FIRST … thanks so much for this great post!!

    SECOND … you are absolutely right to talk (write) about that and NOT to keep it inside as it would eat you up oneday!

    THIRD … you are right again – there are thousends and thousands who think this kind of belongs to "modern life"! Many do it because they can’t cope otherwise anymore or keep up with the pace … it is a vicious circle in which people, especially youngsters, are sucked and once this vortex starts to pull them down, they won’t escape anymore without serious and professional help. Many though do not even realize they’re going down the drain and wake up only once it is far too late already!

    The ONLY WAY to avoid this nightmare is .. do not even THINK of starting!! I think every addict or about-to-be one should go to a psychiatric clinic and have to watch and listen people in withdrawal – I heard them screaming and rest perfectly assured, I will NOT forget that for the rest of my life!

    Thanks so much caller … a GREAT post indeed!!! Big hug!!


  2. I never understand how educated and highly sophisticated people would do that to themselves even after all the awareness campaigns and media teaching us about the hazardous consequences that one suffers from when they indulde in such actions!

    why don’t they think???


  3. asalam 3alaykom,
    dear are so right to refer to this as a nightmare..actually it is..
    and unfortunatly if takes over most of my life and the lives of the most people i met at a certain phase of my life..


  4. asalam 3alaykom,
    my dear khalida..i’m glad you showed up:):)
    needs another why??
    if i thought about the mistakes that i did and i still do..the word think will be a rittel..
    but on that case..why??emptyness and being in the pit for so know the garbage man who stays all day in stync..after sometime he can no longer smell the trash..that is it..
    they think they are creative hot shots and that if every one does it to make them more srtistic and high..then why not…


  5. asalam 3alaykom,
    no,infact it’s not the worse place in the world..there’s a lot worse..check my other backstages and what is yet to come..
    thank you for coming by.


  6. Dropped by to say hi my dear friend, I can’t stay away from your blog, addicted? I dunno 😀

    Tell me, How did you get that picture placed beside your name? I would like to do that!


  7. asalam 3alaykom,
    what did i di to desrve this breeze of fresh air??
    my dearedt neverland..i’ll send you an email regarding it right now that will make you laugh!!
    study so so hard so we can tease fadi:):)


  8. It seems that your father was very passionate about his work, and guess he had a lot of responsibility – maybe that is why he had work so hard.
    I hope others will take your advice and never get trapped in the life that people see as "glamorous".

    Jazakum Allah kheir…


  9. asalam 3alaykom,
    yes my dad is..he is one of the most talented music composers in egypt..too bad he didn’t know anything else to do..
    i love him more than normal girls love their dadies,cause i never had enough of him..he has that great personality that makes everyone love him dearly..


  10. Mashah’Allah sister…

    a music composer? They are very highly respected in the arab world, because it is a very difficult art to master and there are very very few arab music composers too.
    If this make you feel better:
    My dad was a soldier first, then part of a left-wing militia group and then he came to the west (United Kindom) and was transformed into a SHOP-KEEPER?!!
    I would be proud if my dad was an artist like yours.


  11. asalam 3alaykom,
    brother alhajeji..please don’t get me wrong..what ever implied that i’m not proud of my dad??
    if it is what i said earlier then let me explane..he is the one who wished he had had something else to do in life..he has an abnormal talent in my openion but in doing something surrounded with every sin known to may not see that because you are from the outside,but being born into it..believe me,it contaminates any soul..
    i love my dad and i used to help him with his work back in the days,he used to call little music jenius..but i’ve been shown another way that kept me happy and intouch with allah..
    you must be proud of your dad..because not all men would do with any job to stay as far as possible from a 7aram income..would you say asalam 3alaykom to him for me??
    have a nice morning:)


  12. "The more it rolls the bigger it gets.." yes thats it , this rule can be applied to everything in our life.

    The caller, I know I always say that I love you but this time I will say I RESPECT YOU.
    writing such details about your life needs strength and courage that few people have.

    Allah ythabbtek ya rab.


  13. Shukran for the reply…
    That made me feel better wallah.

    I told my father you gave him your salam. He looked at me, smiled, lit his cigarette and told me that (Ahl Masr umm al-arabi wa al-sharaf) the egyptians are the mother of the arabs and to them belong the honour. He admires your people for your independant opinion and your honour. Thank you my sister.


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