This is one category of subjects that ruins my peace and worry me to the extent that i didn’t have one moment of sleep last night nor did i have the will to do anything but think and think and hold on to my son who spent the night next to me last night.
I won’t be bragging or exaggerating if I would say that both my son and daughter are very innocent polite kids (8&6) who haven’t been messed up in the brains by Arabic series and PlayStation games with all due respect to kids who have.
They are more into ordinary moderate super hero toys…cartoons and games of moderate nature…they read…play and make up stories…and of course quarrel all the time.
They like school…ever since they’ve been to a school…and that for hassan and Jomana since they were 3.9 years old.
For the first time EVER has hassan cried because he didn’t want to go to school…last night he was so nervous…crying over trivial silly stuff…I knew something else was wrong and he wasn’t talking…after cooling him down he confided in me and said that a new class mate has beaten the hell out of him…punches, kicks and that that was very hard…not like other boy stuff that happens all the time at school.
I soothed him then asked: have you hit him back ?
He said: No, you said never to hit anyone…besides, I was really hurting.
I asked: Did you tell your teacher?
He replied: It was during the break and i saw Mr. …. (the school’s Manager) I told him so he said: go beat him up
I was like WHAT?!! but fe serry 2olt 7agat keteer tanya!
I knew then I had to reply according to his best interest yet not give up what i think is right as a rule…
I said: Look Hassan, you have to know that strength is actually in the brains and personality not in being violent! and avoiding school and the boy is only gonna make u weaker…would u want that??? he nodded that NO!
I continued: what i think you should do is that you should trust that you are very strong both physically and mentally and you’re gonna use that…I want you to call your friends Y and O then talk to the kid…tell him you will not allow him to be that bad any more…tell him you have told your mom and the manager and you would’ve hit him harder but you chose not to because you wanted to give him a chance to be a good boy and your friend…be firm…look him in the eye and sharpen ur tune.
He asked: what if he hit me hard again anyway?
I had to say: HIT BACK!
He said: but he will keep beating me
I said: beat him back…men defend themselves when they have to and that doesn’t mean they won’t be hit…but then…u won’t feel bad and hurt as u do now…u can handle that pain more than this…yet again, and concentrate on what i’m saying cause i will not allow any other action, you will talk to him as agreed with the intention of making him a good boy to be your friend.
He agreed…smiled as he liked the idea and slept next to me…
My heart ached…I was worried…Life can ruin what I’m trying to teach my kids and i can’t do much about what might come their way….I could be wrong and my boy will be a wuss!
I maybe right but that doesn’t apply on kids without an available Dad…well, although I know that he is against hitting himself…a 100 question and lots of worries and a restless night.
I couldn’t do but cuddle beside him and think…couldn’t do the night routine of music, reading or using the net…nothing…my baby and that’s it!
I’m still at work so a I gave home a call around 5 pm to ask him what has he done…He said that he didn’t call his friends…talked him during the morning line, said what we agreed on…the boy stressedآ that he will not change what ever hassan told him andآ whatever he did.
yet, heآ didn’t tell hassan a word not tried to interact with him…Hassan during Class ignored him completely.
What should i do??!!
What is right???
Do you men, have to beat up each other to beآ “Men”??
Willآ my advice corrupt my boy or is it staying far from trouble that will???!!
آ The thought of him being hit kills me…and that thought of him hitting makes me sick!