It has been an intresting experience.

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

آ 

Thank you all so much for being extra extra nice to me..may allah bless you all..

I don’t know if i’ll ever come back..i wish i do..

Thank you for giving me the chance to shareآ most of my daily thoughts with you..

This is post no.99

I have had the honor of sharing 1069 comments with you

And the previlage of having more than 8289 visitor inآ one of the most riching experiences i’ve ever had..

Thank you jeeran staff for everything..you were great..it felt just like my home.

And out of recpect for you and my dear friends i’m not deleting the blog..let it be a memory.

i would only ask that if anyone would like to read..please read from the begining.

and who knows..may be we’ll meet again.

I won’t be exaggerating if i said that i trully love you all

and i hope you’ll always remember me as THECALLER..that i sarted four month ago..not the one i’ve become now.

Don’t forget me in your do3a2.

asalam 3alaykom wa ra7mato allah wa barakato.

Advertisements

Complete..the other half of the heart..

Before you try to complete…the missing part…the other half of the heart…


Slow down and listen to this…


آ 


I’ve always wondered how to complete what’s incompleteable…how to raise the dead and revive the dried red roses…


آ 


But the most difficult question was…how to find the missing part of the puzzle…the IT…the ONE…how to know for sure that we’re ready to fall in and never out of love with our soul mate who will be the husband OR wife forever. If Allah wills, and we succeed in doing this right…


آ 


My backstage peaks didn’t help with this issue cause the percentage of infidelity is around 99%…with no exaggeration…


I’ve seen 3iathan bellah continuous cheating and sometimes multiple flings all at the same time…so; it’d have been stupid of me to figure this out from them…


No, I observed ordinary people. Those nice cute families where the wife is a kind housewife absorbed in the kitchen or running behind the kids. and where the husband finds the only joy in carrying a paper bag of oranges or a water melon back from work to his kids…I fell in love with that kind simple picture ,which has no high expectations or other complicated demands from life..


آ 


Then another amazing scale hit me.. in fact that was the most amazing of all…


The prophet’s (PBUH)…pattern.


Although he was married to several women at the same time. Due to tribal and religious reasons that I won’t get into right now. May be later…although all that. He was the most loving, tender, amazing husband to alsayeda 3a2esha…


Their talks. Their description of love. How they used to flert…how caring they both were for each other…to me…having this kind of romance centuries ago is the most amazing…


آ 


So, can we be like them??


ظ‹Why??Why wouldn’t we? Why can’t we??


Because we are not prepared to get married…


Marriage needs preparation of thoughts…senses…emotions…manners and a whole lot more…just to be ready to attach when ever your heart tell you ..He/she…IS THE ONE!!


آ 


And never ever get married for any other reason…


Pick right…pick religious, decent people…but only the one who you are ready to be your most unknown self with…


Who completes the missing part of the puzzle? Who mends the other half of the heart…?


Who lights your soul that you glow, Every where you go…

When the ring drawsآ the heart..notآ break it.

آ 

آ 

TO BE CONTINUED…………………………………………………………………..

For her i’ll become..

I was driving the car by the nile…looking at a beautiful scene…of flowers and birds on the river side and the glittering water that reflects sun light when we came up with the same phrase of the same song that we used to listen to a long time ago..And we laughed to the thought and the memory…


I realized how amazing she has been all my life…she was so open minded and absorbed all my flings…she even shared them and knew how to be my friend…she loved scorpions , queen ,pink Floyd and dire straits with me..She studied law with me…she switched to macrobiotics and back to choclate with me…and she shared my religious transaction with me. Prayed and studied and cried to Allah with me…


She is the only one in the world that took my mood swings and the phase changes…


She never took me for granted and never judged me…she knew how life is…how we suffer and how we change and evolve every single day…


I had that in a way with few close friends…but never to that extent…


She is so pure…yet never looked down on me…knew how I really am and waited for me to throw myself in her arms…


I never needed a pass-book to reach her destination…i’ve just been my mistakes and downfalls… when every body patronized me…her eyes smiled, assuring me.


She never saw my ugliness or the angel in me…only the human…the ups and downs…the sweet and sour…I develop in her soil and beat in her heart..

i realize that allah gave me no reason but her ,as i have no one else and for her I’ll become…Mom!!

آ 

Mama sais:…ط¹ط¬ط¨ط§ ظ„ظƒ ظٹط§ ط¨ظ† ط§ط¯ظ…

ط¹ط¬ط¨ط§ ظ„ظƒ ظٹط§ ط¨ظ† ط§ط¯ظ…

طھط³ط¨ط­ ط§ظ†ط§ظ…ظ„ظƒ ظˆ طھط­ظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ†ظƒ

ظٹط³ط¨ط­ ط¬ظ„ط¯ظƒ ظˆ ظٹط­ظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ†ظƒ

طھط³ط¨ط­ ظƒظ„ ظ„ط­ط¸ظ‡ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ†ظپط§ط³ظƒ ظˆ طھط­ظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ†ظƒ

طھط³ط¨ط­ ظƒظ„ ظ‚ط·ط±ظ‡ ظ…ظ† ط¯ظ…ظƒ ظˆ طھط­ظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ†ظƒ

ظˆ طھط³ط¨ط­ ظƒظ„ ط¹ط¸ظ…ظ‡ ظپظ‰ ط¨ط¯ظ†ظƒ ظˆ طھط­ظƒظ‰ ط¹ظ†ظƒ

ط§ظ…ط§ ط§ظ†طھ

ظپطھط­ظƒظ‰ ظپظ‰ ط·ظˆظ„ ط§ظ„ط§ظ…ظ„

ظˆ طھط¨ط§ط±ط² ط±ط¨ظƒ ط¨ط§ظ„ظ…ط¹طµظٹظ‡

ظˆ طھظ†ط³ظ‰ ط§ظ† طھط³ط¨ط­ ط¹ظ†ط¯ ظƒظ„ ط§ط·ظ„ط§ظ„ط© ط´ظ…ط³

ظˆظƒظ„ ط§ظ‚طھط±ط§ط¨ ط؛ط±ظˆط¨

ظˆ طھظ†ط³ظ‰ ظ…ظ† ط§ظ†طھ

Enchantment by the sea..


آ 

آ 

When ever I think about these days…the aroma of the sea fills my brain…I find my self inhaling as much as I can from the scent of the best days of my life…all the great things that I can all my own..My most own…happened to me in Alex…


…the pearl of the …the bride of the sea…


…is my home town…And although it is on the coast…it is more gorgeous in winter than in summer…


Alexandrians don’t enjoy their city in summer. The visitors from and other places make it so crowded and unclean. As a kid, I used to stand in the street with my friends and give wrong directions for the tourists! Little devils we were!!


I lived near . Right by the sea. I never had enough from the cool amazing sea


آ breeze…Never had enough of the amazing joy of seeing the sunrise and sunset by the sea. My house was on shore. I could get wet sometimes from the splashes of a wild wave…

After on the cournish is outstanding. Alex never sleeps…And I never slept a whole night in Alex. I couldn’t stop taking the beautiful feeling of being part of it...


I went to school in Alex…” where a lot of leaders had their education…


King Hussein of Jordon. Was educated their…oh…and Omar elsherief too…


That ancient school is like a palace. With Greek architecture buildings and huge gardens with palms and swimming pools…


Winter time made Alex sparkle. Shine with cleanliness. From waves and rain. Cold but not too cold. I remember days when we had little pieces of snow hitting the windows…


Summer time was a blast…we spent our days at the beach. Afternoons together hanging

out or taking ice-cream walks. And nights at the park…elma3moora.or.elmontazah.

آ 


آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

Elmontazah…is the greatest place I’ve ever seen…the kings palace and gardens and a sea shore full of flowers…I had the best times at the hotel…

آ 


And the first time I ever went inside a mosque was…almorsi abo el3abas…it is right by the beach on a higher ground…it has a unique feeling…I will never forget what it felt to pray there…too peaceful too secure. Yet fresh…as fresh as the sea…


Near by the north end of Alex. You can take a boat to a nearby island called…Nelson…it takes half an hour with a speed boat to go there…and belive me it’s heavens on earth…a very small island just for you…the boat would take you there and come back for you..dady used to take us there to swim privately and spend a great day..a day to remember..you can see jelly fish and strange kinds of sword fish on the way..


Oh..how I long for these days to come again..

آ 

I’m going soon in sha2 Allah….returning to my sea…..


If any one ever thinks of coming to . Don’t miss visiting Alex…

I can only hear one thing when i think of alex..

آ 

Memories..light the corners of my mind..

Misty watercolored memories..

of the way we were

آ 


.


آ 

Wide Shut!!

So,What’s wrong with letting out some personal feelings or thoughts??

To me..it’s who i am and what i have to say..

And most defenitly what i hide in the closet belongs in the closet but to an extend..

I read here and there bloggers deciding to keep their blogs out of their personal lives and that made me wonder..isn’t blogging personal??!!

Again with the limits that would make me comfortable..is that so elastic that it can wrapp totally around someone and leave him with nothing one inch deep to say?

آ 

From now and then i recieve mail regarding something i posted or a personal clue about me..wondering what i do beside blogging..(they think i blog non stop!..am i??!:):)).

and i never replied because i thought that they are asking for something under the table..

and i decided to keep it up!!above the table..

آ 

I am a lawyer with a lot of other intrests beside law..i practice law within all family affairs and i study something after another..free studies ofcourse..D’oh:)

because i have a family to take care of..two little mmmmmmm..birds constantly jumping up and down and i watch every bounce and word!!

آ 

i take blogging seriously..to me it’s not rambling..nor only sharing thoughts..to me..it’s the thing i love doing..it’s healing..it’s my work..

آ 

I never meant to hide my nameآ because of secrecy..NO..i just simply don’t like it!!

yes..i don’t:):)..it doesn’t suit me..that simple!!

And about my dad..oh..i refer to him as the natural source of my backstageآ experience..although that didn’t stop some of thinking that i might be a retired singer or something..which thank allah i’m not..so for delivering that messege ..do i really have to say who he is to earn some credentials..i don’t think so..besides that would limit my purpose..so ..that’s it!!

آ 

finally i would like to say that this blogging experience changed two things in my mind..at least for now…+ i digested the thought that i was meant to be a backstager..that’s what makes me..me!!آ 

+ At first i was a caller for what i see right but from the high towered window…now i’m a caller ..not only down to earth..but half buried in it…

آ 

sorry sorry..one last thing…i cherish every and each one of you guys:)

آ 

آ 

UPDATE:

آ 

guess what..i took the personality test twice to determine which leader am i close to!! the first one was a nine question test and i turned out to be:::::MOTHER theresa!!

ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..don’t think so!!

so i took another eighteen question test..AND..this time::::::

abraham lincoln…

they say i’m good and kind but can drag my country into civil wars..

آ 

SEE…i’m dangeroussssss..after all :):):)

Intersection !!

I was visiting one of my favorite blogs..fairy tales..when i read the openions of two different men..two unique openions..and i found my self apreciating each logic..

i couldn’t determin what would i be??where do i come from??

I’m not tottaly this or that..

I felt i was the intersection of two sets..i had both openions in my head..i believed in both of them..yet they are different..

How strange could that be??about me??

And it hit me..that have been my own struggel..to maintain a different kind of life..a life that embrasses all varieties and originality..

To set my own rules..and i did..at least for a while..

What happened?why is it becoming more difficult now that i’m opening towards new experiences..why is it stealing something i cherished..may be that wasn’t supposed to happen.

May be we shouldn’t search for something more once we are happy with what we have..

May be we shouldn’t arrogantly trust our potentials to the max so it wouldn’t let us down..

May be it’s not always the innovation that we need..may be just some peace!!

We dig our own traps..set our own tests..fail our selves only when we reach the peak of success..

Who said it’s o.k to fail??

it’s not..!!it is not o.k to watch theآ falling down and remain numb.

All it takes is one brick in the wall..to make it fall.

When i know exactly why allah created me..i should work for that non stop..

enough of all the ..only human crap!!

yes ..humans..yes..we do mistakes..yes welet go at sometimes..

But we will pay..we will be judged and we will pay..

how come we worry so much for what humans think of us?? we serve to please all the time..always humans..either ourselves or others..

What about allah the almighty who watches every thing we do..wo counts our deeds?!

How come we don’t make the smae effort if not more to obey him..

when will i ever reach my goal..if every few steps i take a long break or sometimes loose a few steps..

yes..i contradict..i am an intersection between two different worlds..

I am the mix of angles and demons ifآ it can ever happen..

آ 

آ 

Infinite Dreams !

“Infinite dreams, I can’t denyآ them


Infinity is hard to comprehend


I couldn’t hear those screams


Even in my wildest dreams”


آ 


آ 


+ I remembered those words when I thought about dreams…


When dreams are supposed to be a good thing…a drive…somewhere when it’s o.k to


wish infinitely…I still remembered those words that describe a nightmare not a dream.


آ 


All of us long for something we can not have. It could be hidden in the most lighted place, and it could be presented on a silver plate deep inside the darkness of our safe!


Sometimes we don’t even know that we’re dreaming. Sometimes we wish for a dream to come and lift us higher than any ground…


آ 


When we stay glued and pinned to earth…When the soul wants to spread its wings…


When we say no to what agree is. And we nod to all the nos…


We then sleep…sleep and let go of everything…the glue…the pins…the wings. The no and yes.


آ 


And we have infinite dreams…


Some carry the scare…the warning…the tick of the clock.


And, some carry the wish. The hope. The answers of the knot.


آ 


Don’t follow the scare!!


Just carry the hope…


آ 


And don’t dare to comprehend…it’s a secret that is treasured for you to unwrap some day…


A dream. Has changed all my life…


How??


That’s another story.

3ala tare2et raya w skeena..!!

آ 

آ 

آ 

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ  آ 

آ 

So,i didn’t listen to my friend’s advice and i went there..

I went toآ have a peak on their filthy blogs..may be you’ll notice this and may be you won’t but i never lost my temper before last night..

What do they want..they blog about how 7izbullah is all fake….hello!!

All this and they’re fake?!!

آ 

They slam lebanon against the wall..forgetting that this time is the time when every arab needs moral support and encouragement..and..especialy lebanese..

We have to keep our heads held high..and our hopes up to tolerate all this injustice and all that killing and breaking in our souls..

Who had the nerve to look away yesterday and never mind what happens in lebanon.??

Is now really the time ti start counting that great strong country’s faults??

And what arab country that is with no faults??

Infact we are all in the same muddy swamp..no one’s clean..no one’s right

.

And then my friend karin pulls my hand to a heart breaking blog of a lebanese guy who is on the run with his family ..and i run with her to give him some support and there..in his home..in his blog..that i find this israeli..that again wants to destroy our hearts like they destroy our homes in lebanon and palestine.

آ 

That arrogant nothing ,thinks they are justified.he even made his point 3ala tare2et raya w skeena: ye2teloona w neskotlohom?!

and ofcourse he will think that..does any wolf feel any sympathy while attacking the hen house..but this time..is so different..cause the wolves mistakenly attacked the lions..and i told him how it will feel for him when the bricks of his walls will fall on his head..then he will remember me!!

آ 

Q..wondered last night ..will other countries see what lebanon sees right now?!

and my answer..oooh..yes…only if we..again..like always bow and let go of what is left of our pride..if any is still there…only if we again as always let them step all overآ  us..while we pause gladely to the cameras..

آ 

I will no longer remember songs..to remind me of the taste of the lebanese air..

I will remember only..Quran…and ask allah for his aid and his forgivness..

cause we let go of him for such a long time..

and ..enough..is enough.

آ 

Would you do me a favour??

I have no phone or mobile connection with my aunt and her family in lebanon..

i have to ask if any of my fellow lebanese bloggers would do thay call for me..?!

if you wouldآ let me know so i can mail you the no.and details..

jazakum allah kheir moqadaman!آ 

آ 

**update:

آ آ آ  who ever prayed from the heart for me..thank you..suddenlyآ i made a connection.

i dot to hear her sad sad voice..she is o.k but the bombing is surrounding her place..keep praying guys..please

Lebnaaaaaaaaaaaan

آ 

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

آ 

آ 

When ever i think of lebanon,i keep hearing wadi3 elsafi singing..

lebnannnnnnnnnnnnnn..ya 2et3et samaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

آ 

and i feel as if i flew over there………..likeآ a bird flying over the sea and up the mountain and back into the valley…

آ 

Lebanon is dear to me..my dad was born there and i have a branch ofآ my family that are lebanese and that i adore..

آ 

It breaks my heart when i hear that it is in danger..may allah remain it safe..

And i believe that the heros who saved it once ..are capable of keeping it secure..

آ 

May allah help them..

آ 

آ 

**UPDATE..

آ 

I just saw the news..scarey?..yes it is..

But the dignity in elsheikh hassan’s eyes and his will power makes me wish i can see thatآ with any egyptian leader before i die..

I don’t care shei3i or sunny…i only care that someone is strong for a change..

I’m sick of the arabs being weak,defeated and laime..

They have allآ the prayers from my heart..cause that is the only thing i can do..

آ 

P.S.

Wanna check the news..check” ALMANAR ” tv channel..stop listening to what the jews want you to hear..

آ