The day i finally could say bye bye to work – just for some time – and head to the coast was the day i developed a burning fever..don’t call it jinx!!..
I wrapped up work and at five pm i rushed home so tired and feverish as I’ve forgot my phone at work..i couldn’t call first and to my surprise i found my kids hopping up and down ready to dive in the blue mediterranean waters..i had to swallow some panadol extras and drive 250 Km to the north coast..i really don’t know how i drove..reached there and how have i seen the road ahead..
After almost tow hours i reached my cousin’s villa and the minute i stepped out of the car i felt nothing..my eyes refused to open just for a glance and i was almost carried up to the bed room where i spent nearly two days in fever..
Saturday morning was great..being pampered by my dear team of cousins was so cute..as i started to feel a little better and after making sure my kids were fine and having a great time with my younger cousin’s started to enjoy the great atmosphereآ they made for me..a comfy red softآ arm chair right next to the terrace where sea breeze refreshes me and the blue waters cools my thoughts..nice music and funny company with some enjoyable beverages made the day really relaxing..
When we decided to go for a ride..my cousin insisted that i would drive..i wondered why as she knew i wasn’t feeling well yet and she knew i never drove a hydromatic gear..i always avoided them and insisted that i like the action in the manual cars..couldn’t say no more than two times as she’s dear to me and the sneaki girl challanged that i would deal with the car..i drove..and it went fine..actually she was impressed that i managed this well and didn’t hit the brakes suddenly out of use to ordinary cars..and i started accelarrating and having fun with the easy to drive car..she looked at me while i drove while doing something else and smiled..i asked her..why are you smiling at me..she said: Rika..you can do anything..so good..so fast..you’re strong rasha..you’re strong..
She looked ahead and kept smiling..and i kept thinking..of course we killed every issue with our all night discussion..and we decided to take a dive..
The most nice thing was theآ beach..there was no one..everyone returned to the cityآ to get ready for school so we had it all to ourselves and it has been ages since i sun tanned..swam or felt those amazing waves..kids had so much fun with me..and i was a kid again myself..
The day after was so different..i was really focused..all issues were so present in my mind..work issues..life ones too..and with out knowing i started pushing all the stress I’ve been under the past few months up to the surface..hurt me..tired me..then i woke up the next day so determined top return to Cairo..left all the relaxation and beauty behind me willingly cause i needed to..i needed to wrap up the picture thatآ started to develop in my head..and i needed to start action!!
Dropped mom and kids home and rushed to the office..took care of some things and ran to my consultant..let my fears out..along with my plans for tomorrow if Allah wills..and after things were clear and a bold time line has been drew..i felt this great feeling of faith..Allah gave me a new charge of faith in my heart..that i very honestly lacked recently..it was a great feeling that left me in tears..tears that i normally shed out of pain and difficulty..not out of faith..not out of feelings that have been touched and moved..not out of hope and remorse..
Allah is so kind and so merciful..and i will try to do my best in everything to deserve 1% of his kindness and mercy.
I can talk about faith now..as i feel it..and almost see it touch my heart.
Strange how unexpected people could be your guide..and strange how unexpected people could have so much appreciation and faith for you while you expect the tiniest amount of those from others..
I learned a new lesson yesterday..it’s the heart..and the heart only..that will lead us to light.
Erase all other calculations and weigh people by their hearts..surround yourselves with the kind..the pure hearted..no matter what else..only then you’ll gain..only then you’ll minimize the pain..
May Allah grants us his mercy and kindness.