Is hiding always wrong?
Is hiding a form of cheat?
those couple of questions come among several related questions…where we start questioning an urge, an attitude or an action.
That is so general i know so i’ll stick to the matter in hand.
Friendship is always good…generally something essential in life.
Love and marriage is always good and highly essential in life.
Can we hide a friendship (an opposite sex friend) while we’re married if we know that our partner won’t be ok with it??
Is it ok to have a friend at a distance for our comfort yet keep him/ her hidden??
Is it fair to our partner that we have a warm relationship with a friend where we discuss our personal stuff with (love, marriage, work) while we don’t share the same with our spouses??
Is it right to do so with a friend from the opposite sex??
Is it 100% innocent??
deep down inside is it innocent???
and if that friend was in our partner’s shoes would he/ she accept it??
well…That issue was one I and hubby settled early in our relationship yet we both took our time to come to terms with it…or to be honest…it took time till we both were 100% positive and convinced that IT COULD NEVER BE NORMAL TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND FROM THE OPPOSITE SEX WHILE WE’RE MARRIED.
For so many HONEST reasons:
– married couples need to focus on each other…talk to each other…develop a close relationship…develop trust and warmth and understanding.
– married couples need to feel secure and content…not feel that in certain matters they can be substituted.
– No…It is normal to confide in another man but my husband and talk my heart out to him…unless the marriage lacks the comfort and understanding and then i should really be doing all i can to make it good or get out of it…another man who is stand by to hear me weep isn’t really the right thing to do…AS LONG AS I’M MARRIED.
– Switching places makes the picture clearer…does the male friend accept that his wife does the same while he has no idea??? and do i – as a friend- accept to be hidden and standing by to my male friend comfort whenever he’s in trouble with his wife??
– Is it a non physical type of cheating??
Well…too many annoying questions…too many painful meanings that only very honest people could admit to.
I am old fashioned when it comes to relationships…and when i try to act modern (as trends now a days) i feel guilty and bad…as i know it’s wrong.
and no…it has nothing to do with trust…it has everything to do with what marriage should give to people…it should make partners feel complete…feel understood and loved and cherished…secure and warm and appreciated.
and another no…having a troubled marriage doesn’t justify hiding a friend who plays a normal role of a hero to a woman in hardship!!!
feelings are hard to be simple and clear…as feelings are the most complicated thing in life.
but hey…talking honestly makes it an easy task with self confrontation.
So…I say…either give your marriage everything you’ve got or take off…but don’t try the slick dancer style…it’s tacky and messy.
And…as a friend…i gotta be smart and honest…put myself in others’ shoes and stop the supporting act if i sense i’m being used to wreck a home or even being used to make someone feel good about himself.
after all…a friend or a partner…in a while…you’ll end up alone…alone by yourself or lonely in a crowd..