Changing names…

If people started to pick on you because you have a weired middle name what would you do…especially that it means nothing but hurt?

A grown up would deal…handle and most likely won’t suffer much from his weired name…but a child wouldn’t know what to do…after all, children don’t really get why one can’t change his name…why the weired name was chosen…or what is the significance behind ones own name no matter what it meant.

All kids care about is not being the mockery of their friends…they would rather have ordinary names than a special rare one…they would rather be plain than plenty…well, children are emotional and derived naturally towards happiness…they would choose joy over anything…fact is, they are entitled to be pure, naive and joyous.

A child is ideal in Utopia or a classic happy decent family with no complications, fights, hard feelings or divorces…as then, the child will feel among the normal grounds of a natural simple merry life.

But kids with weired names, abnormal situations and complicated surroundings get their innocence battled by the delicate emotions involved…such kids, fight authority, fight their fortunes and misfortunes as identifying each becomes a hard chore…such kids need all the support they can get to balance their abnormal twists just a tad…a tad enough to ease sore hearts and confused minds.

I speak from experience here…I have been such a child and I have caused (regardless of the reasons) my kids to be of the same sort.

I have not found any peak of promising light to ease my heart and soul and answer my continuous confusing questions as a child…so, I try my very best to help my kids cope in a way i wish i had encountered.

My kid wants to change his foreign special middle name…my kid wants a simple change -in his eyes- to make things less complicated -in his eyes- and i explain and explain and explain how genuine, important and special the name is…I explained it’s meaning…what it resembles…what is the significance…I tried to simplify the complications in his mind…and i pointed that it is way richer to add loved ones to his life than to substitute…and i realize yet question,

Do all parents deserve their children?

Do selfish parents who chose their own happiness and comfort over their kids needs deserve their children?

Do indifferent parents who wouldn’t weigh their parenting techniques properly and approach a firmer/ more tender way to raise their kids with politeness, kindness and morals deserve their children?

I have my set of answers that are more of a judgment…but really, now that i am old and no longer a child can make a clear notion about my experience with abnormal situations as a child (especially that I’ve lost one parent already):

parents, names, nationality…may be cruel or silly…hard or ignorant

but they are my own…my special own…who created me as i am…gave me all i had and participated in all i will have…they sheltered me, nurtured me and kept me as safe as they know how…all i had was them…and every little thing i loose from them makes me incomplete…

I believe that the strength laying in LOVE can wrap everything with such unique warmth…I choose to love… I choose not to rant or curse what i have…I love my country as unfair as it can be…I love my name as silly as it sounds to me…I love my parents as abnormal as they were…and without them accepted and appreciated I would be ga7da.

I believe no one could have done anything better…and i believe that accepting and confessing the faults is the major first step towards changing for the better…pretending i am a righteous saint would drive me straight to hell…

I have my share of guilt…personal and parental guilt…but i wanna focus on using that to be better for them…I can’t change what I’ve done but i have a renewed chance to fix every single moment and as long as i live…

I want my kids to be kind, understanding, loving and forgiving…I want them to realize human weaknesses and appreciate the trials we all make to be better people…forgive mistakes and recognize virtues…I want them to know how to differentiate between pure and sick intentions…

I want them to change in themselves to be better people and never get consumed into the myth of changing others…

after all, no one can change his middle name!!

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6 thoughts on “Changing names…

  1. You know, although I like my name very much, I sometimes thought that I should have some other unique name. Specially when I meet non Egyptians or non Arabs, I always should explain that it is better to call me by my last name since my first is very popular.

    And love does miracles 🙂

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  2. 🙂

    you know, he will get over that someday once he realizes the uniqueness that comes with the name… even if the holder of that name isn’t as unique as your little one is :))

    did i ever mention i hated my name!!!! i hated hated hated it with passion; i wish i had a more common name (back when i was little my name wasn’t as common as it is now) that had a meaning, not named after a religious-historic figure that no one can live up to; i was always told i should be like her, as if that was even possible (LOL)… the things parents do!!!!!! but… i learned to like my name, and now i just love it… i love how it sounds, how it’s unique and rather rare in my generation, yet very familiar in every language and culture… i like that it links me to three religions and that it’s derived from one language and still means the same in every other one… it’s such a cultural name, and i know that i may not be “her”, but the name still suits me more than “mona” or “basma” or “layla” would have, i still like “layla” nonetheless 🙂

    so back to you… i know you have explained it to him from so many angles… and i know he might not have grasped them all, but one day he will appreciate it all… no one explained anything to me and i have come to all that on my own, but with your cuteness, he will always think of how you helped him understand and feel a sense of joy linked to you :)))

    i miss the little ones, and i miss you so much ya roosh, yalla ba2a el seef hayekhlas!!!

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  3. The sound of your name is beautiful aslan 🙂
    I really wish i could do or say anything to him to take away all the strain accompanied by our circumstances…little kids are mean to eachother btw…fffff

    Inso, i’m ready any time leltasyeef…hona alqahera…7awell!!

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