I speak…I know how to speak…how to make myself clear…How to make my case…How to elaborate how i feel…I know how to speak.
Months ago I bragged my ability of speaking my mind regardless of ANY consequences…I always let out how i feel in accurate words…I bragged it and i practiced my rightful right to speak up and unfold my thoughts, information i have and how i feel about them.
Very recently i challenged myself to control my spoken emotions…to speak of an idea without its details and without its proof.
Because I’m being selfish…I gave myself the liberty to be selfish and exercise my Machiavellian aspect.
I choose to keep somethings quiet to preserve my nerves…to maintain stability although it maybe a fake one.
I choose to keep a routine and let life unfold leaves of wisdom farther from the narrow margin of wisdom i chose previously to live in…I choose to let time pass…fix…uncover…maybe heal.
I still speak…but in time of difficulty i learned to contain my urge to scream out the sharp words i need to say…I sit back and let the stream of other dangerous minds hover around me…defined as they truly are, without any interference from my side…let meanings live…lies occur…love grow and ties tighten or crawl away loose.
“Time needs time” a dear friend of mine used to tell me that, while laughing at how silly it sounds and how resentful i look…she just knew that my restless impatient self needs to be gracefully aware that time fixes sore/confusing situations.
I have let my words be my sword of revenge…as I’ve let them be silk sheets that wrap my loved ones.
Recently I’ve been practicing saying less…well, sometimes.
My actions are a totally different story…another story.