I miss you beyond expression.
I miss calling you every night…Sometimes I forget you are not here any more and I pick up the phone to call you.
Forgive me for being angry at you…I sometimes get angry only because I love you…and because I missed you…I missed you all my life…way before you died.
Now…I feel grateful for what you left me…You left me a passion for art and a legacy of your music.
Yesterday As i was driving to the book club i put on a CD where you sang with your voice in a rehearsal…It was so warm and so precious and so painful to hear your voice talking and singing.
Dear Daddy, four years have passed…they feel so much longer…a lot has happened in my life;
Things that you would have prevented me from doing…people you would have protected me from…Accomplishments you would have embraced me for…I did screw up at times, but daddy, I did mend…I am trying my best…I have pursued little triumphs that would have made you proud of me.
Today i signed with a publisher who’s interested in my writing…your name and mine will be on books dear daddy…proud?
Your grand children whom you adore are doing great alhamdulelah…Your music is alive…with my little limited resources i am doing my best to make it alive…I promised you a website that contains all your biography, i couldn’t do that but i created a facebook page that is quite as good…you don’t know what facebook is!
I never forget my voice…my music…I live them for you and for myself…Jumana sings beautifully too…and Hassan has an amazing ear for music…I am writing…I am loving…and I never stop remembering you.
sometimes when i have the urge to break the rules I think of you and walk straight…People always greeted you that you had good kids…respectful kids…They were always amazed that an “artist” had three decent kids…Well, my brother and sister are more than amazing daddy…
I do my best be that…I do my best not disappoint you…and not disappoint myself.
If you were alive, would you have forgiven my mistakes??
Some how…I know you would have…You were always understanding, friendly and open minded…you were very strict in a lovely way.
You gave me so little time as a dad but you carved so much in me when you could.
Sometimes I hate myself for resenting things related to you…Sometimes I think that I don’t forgive you…but, now i know for sure that i do…I love you so much and appreciate everything that formed my spirit and my mind.
May you rest in peace…May all the good and generosity you’ve done for all the people I knew of after you passed away would be rewarded.
I am who i am because of everything you were.
I love you…