What pisses me off at 3:30 am

I logged in to Jeeran to get myself started on a quick rant when i noticed a new blog on the site called: How to get girls!

That could pass under my nose easily but i noticed the published post called: Dance floor approaches!!!

Now, please…for the love of god…Dance floor approaches?!!!

Is it the fifties and i got lost in a time swirl??

It’s as if someone jumped out of ” Dirty Dancing ” the movie!

I do not think who ever hits dance floors nowadays doesn’t know how to get girls and how to ” approach them “…needless to say that the whole concept of getting girls is irrrrrritating, It sounds like getting a pack of cigarettes or getting ****.

 

It’s things like that that get on my nerves especially when i woke up disturbed at 3 am for NO reason whatsoever although I have work at 7 am and i need the sleep after the shitty day i just had at the office…

I can’t be entering the endless circle of insomnia again, can I??

It has been a nice while…getting enough sleep every night like all SANE people…not having to wake up mad nearly at dawn to find silly posts about dance floors…phhhhlease!

 

I was about to call the whole ranting and posting at such late hour off but seeing Ms. FOKO (aka someone else) posting another meaningless saggy post about some love bla bla blrrrrrrra and sticking that small head of hers onto that fake slim body using photo shop ( and she is NOT slim ) just to create a freak looking head is as irritating as the “get the pack of girls post”.

 

Yes, I admit I was already pissed off and drained from sickness and a huge fight at the office…I just recognized that it’s that time of year again when I would get all proud and stuff and stand up for the boss’ bullshit till I leave the office.

 

It happened last year around this time…Maybe It’s the quitting season or arguing season or something…who knows!

I still have my company to run to if things went crappy at the office, right?? right!

 

back to blogging, and why the hell would anyone bother us with all the: quit, won’t quit, quit, ohhh ma2dertesh 3ala bo3dak sanya won’t quit blogging thingie…

No one gives a shit really and even if someone did actually give a shit, you can’t really be serious and bounce between decisions in less than a day…Be a man sucker!! Quit!! or don’t Quit 😀

 

On a last note, I don’t want to know fawa2ed albabooneg nor the dream someone had of hell and how I’ll burn in it if I didn’t forward the email to a thousand people…Hell, I don’t know a thousand people you moron!!! and guess what, Babooneg your a**!

 

Can’t give it a title

The insomniac who rarely sleeps went to bed at 18:00 and woke upآ at midnight thinking ofآ things that has nothing to do with….hmmm…actually anything.

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آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ  carrie-anne-baade

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  • It has been almost two months since i last wrote any short stories…no ideas hopping and nagging to get written on some deserted blog…whether it’s good or bad it felt great to write them…my head is numb!


  • We actually see the drawings of a five year old as pieces of art…although they are not by any damn artistic scale…we bring the scale down to their age and judge, putting in mind the thought they are trying to express and for that we genuinely say the BRAVO excited cheer…how come we don’t treat people the same way?? When we judge we expect the highest most noble things and crucify who ever fails that by fingerآ pointing and prejudice…


  • Allah created birds and made thousands of types,shapes,colours and sizes each of a different special task…All other species are the same way…humans may differ in looks but not in function…yet they are uniquely different in characters…which is a very accurate detailed thing that differentiates one than the other…we can get along but we can never be identical… It’s better this way…even if jerks will continue ruling the world.


  • Seventhآ Sense…the curse of all curses…Master of disaster…The Italianآ Stallion…Rrrrrrrrrrrocky Balboooooooooooaaaaa hehehehehe 😀 kiddin.No But really…آ we all have that…some more than others but we all get what someone is plotting or understanding their lie or guessingآ something some has been up to…without a word, hint or even a wink…it would be a strong feeling of belief…have you ever had that and it turned out you were absolutely right? well i have and let me tell you…it’s the most annoying thing in this whole world…it’s way better and easierآ being a dumb ass than being this – let’s call it – smart.


  • Smokers know they are burning their chests with those inflamed dried trash…they write it clear on the packs ( smoking will kill you, you damn fool ) yet they make it, pack it, add poison to it and sell it to you with the waxed grinآ  of the Jokerآ ( Batman…1989 )…The answer to the WHY is that they freakin’ love it…see what love can do…?!


  • I want to see aآ movie i used to love when i was a teen… Fire with Fire.


  • I want to hearآ a song i used to love also when i wasآ the same teen… Broken wings.


  • Don’t have the movie now nor the song so Gary moore will do for now…after all i have empty rooms!


  • Plans are : get out of bed…shower…do some work till morning then stop by ( on the run ) for coffee and up to the office…my boss is finally back after six weeks away leaving me with the whole thing on my head…It’ll be a sleazy day and i know it…I’ll play the cool – know it all – assistantآ and will hope for the best which is….the day would only pass.آ 

Just like that!

It’s like a pinch…a pain that lasts for seconds and you’d forget all about it…

It’s like that last drag of a cigarette…the deep inhaled smoke and the thick exhaled breath…and squeezed off is the rest…

It’s like the after taste of bitter medicine…some sugar would erase it away…

It’s like a sock soaking wet…making you feel so heavy…just needs to be changed…

It’s like a very bad hair day…a pin and a brush would gather all the frizzآ …

It’s like the sand stuck in your shoe…you’ll shake it offآ ..

It’s like the good sunny afternoon that would make you look hot in your new black shades…

It’s like the hair you’d accidentally find in your steamy rice bowl…you’re too hungry to throw theآ food…only the hair will goآ …

It’s like the first two verses of your worst poem…need to get the rubber and start rhyming…

It’s likeآ all that and more…

All tiny annoying things that will eventually vanish…

Day after day…your picture will fade away…become more and more absurd…ridiculous to remember and cheap to hold…

Every breath I’ll take and every morning I’ll wake will draft you more and more away…

To me…you’re becoming…just like that!!

Decision

I’ve been stronger lately…I manage through the night without crying, I stop memories from aching me and i keep my distance from every trace of it.

Although i have more time now to wallow in sadness and regret all i want.

I remember few months ago when i was working 14 hours a day minimum yet i couldn’t get it off of my head day and night…drives to and from work witnessed lots of tears and heartache.

It’s the decision i made without even stating it loud and clear in my mind…I don’t want to have anyone or anything in my life except for my work and kids.

I don’t know if it’s possible to decide such a thing…but i did.

Years ago i was sad over a failed marriage…after that i was aching for never having the love I’ve always dreamt about, the emptiness killed me…then i was given what i strived for andآ the feelingآ was beyond my wildest dreams that it blinded me toآ a disastrous situationآ and i ended up shattered.

I guess i learned…and may be I’ve had enough and that’s why i don’t want anything of that kind anymore.

what’s left is some traces here and there that showers me with mixed feelings- like the feelings I’m having now- yet time passes by and I manage to distract myself pretty well.

It’s skill i wish i had before…when to focus and when to loose it when i need to.

It’s hard, hard to look the other way when voices, flags and hands grab your attention their way…it’s hard to stop LIVE memories from weakeningآ your will…hard to choose not to access a wide opened door…hard to stop every song or piece of music the minute it starts cause u know it’s gonna hurt.

Hard, but will be done!

and tomorrow will be a new day Inshallah.

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Good night.

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Death…and birth, over a cup of coffee!

We were having my usual coffee atآ a shop i never stepped feet in before, It was his invitation and his suggestion that I was glad to accept as we haven’t been talking lately and he has been once a real good friendآ .

He was one of the exceptions among my friends as I dislike gigolos very much and wouldn’t normally become friends with the type but he was not like that with me and I could always feel some kindness within him…kindness is the main thing i chersih in people and I believe if we had that all could go well sooner or later…he really took me as an understanding friendآ who would listen and share.And I was his exception – as he claims – I was the only female friend he ever had…he was used to only one track thinking regarding females that would usually end up with the type who’d end in his bed!

Being the Hunk he is and beingآ – in my opinion – troubled since childhood in a way that made him only think this way towards girls gave him a wide range of nasty experiences that appeared to make him cocky…he would refer to him self laughing as the handsome devil!

He’s the kind of person thatآ is so full of crap yet he tells it clear…He is one of the children of September by the way…

weآ startedآ exchanging the hellos as usual bulletining each otherآ with the most recent events in work and so…and normally i would ask in a funny way How were the chicks? and i never expected the answer…He said: I’m over this crap…Never Again! and i saw severe pain in his eyes…I almost saw the glow of a hesitant tear.

I demanded further explanation asآ pain and hurtآ coming from HIM was actually weired and boy…did he start talking!!!

He knew this woman that he got with every once in a while…she was from the same nature and living the same life…I had heard about her before and knew their story…And unexpectedly to them she became pregnant!

Not like in the movies and because they shared no feelings but sexual they didn’t get married…but decided to get rid of the baby…the woman was more than five months pregnant and all he could think of is that he has to be there for her during the abortion…he is a man you know and gada3 and so !!! Disgustingly enough…till she entered the operation room he felt nothing but care for her…after a while..waiting in the pit hole they called clinic- it’s an inhuman nasty filthy place to commit crimes in- he saw the weired nurse coming out with a bloody towel that contained something…unconsciously he stopped her and looked to see what was it…It was the fetus…his fetus…his baby…the fetus was alive…looked just like a chewed up tiny heart that was pulsing hard withآ slight features of a baby…andآ as his heart was actually burning him alive…feeling the most hurtful feeling he had ever known… life was going away from the fetus…his soul was taken away and his heart was about to stop as this fetus just stopped living….he couldn’t see anything…his tears filled his eyes and throatآ …he sat down not believing what he had just seen…aching from what he was feeling…hating himself and realizing for the first time the meaning of what he had always thought ofآ as Fun and something macho to be proud of…the games of fake love and sex weren’t hot any more…He knew thatآ his manhood wasآ about giving another life to life…something more holyآ and profound than living like a car that would park anywhere…even in a trash dump just to feel good for a few moments.

What was always cheap and easy to him revealed itself to be a secret of life and a meridian of souls…And Instantly he declared total and final remorse and decided to never ever treat his humanity and others with such disgrace again.

A soul had to be eliminated beforeآ it was born to teach him a life changing lesson.

He hopes we could allآ open our hearts to virtues before hurt scars us forever.

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As for me I witnessed death…..and birth, Over a cup of coffee.

And I’ll leave myآ feelings to your Imagination.آ