A Quickie…

Tomorrow morning Inshallah i’ll be doing the Laser thing for my eyes…I have short sight…well, extreme short sight and the contact lenses have almost ruined my eyes so guys…if i stop blogging from now on u’ll know that the laser thingآ e7walآ !

Yes I’m scared but I’m doing it anyway…Allah yustor.


Best mother’s day gift for my sweet mom will be a 3omra…I’m more happy by this than she is and i feel it’s the best thing I’ve done in a long time…too bad i can’t get to go and have the experience as well…i just don’t have a ma7ram…shooot 😀 i guess I’ll wait for hassan ( 7 year old son ) to take me 🙂


I have a thing against bling blings of all kinds…no accessories would ever enter my world…although i like watches i couldn’t wear any for the past couple of years…one thing is my weakness…sunglasses…not just any shades…no, I’m the type who can never touch a pair as long as i don’t find something that would make me fall in love with…and i didn’t find something like that for quiet a while…till yesterday when accidentally i laid my eyes on the most AMAZING Cartier sunglasses…they are expensive and i didn’t have enough in my purse…if i still have enough eyes after the laser tomorrow i would definitely get those sunglasses…7etet nadarah…teganen!


My mom – with huge efforts from friends and family – finally agreed on getting some help around the house…i wonder if that will last…will i witness the new mom/help adventures.

Will my kids accept and get along…god, i really hope so…آ 


I had the loveliest happy mother’s day phone call today…*sigh*








Good day

This is one good day 🙂

Why? again, like always, I have no idea why…I just remembered that I previously realized that the question Why is a stalling, disturbing Question that only holds me back from moving forward towards better decisions and changes.

So, no need to know why.

What’s guaranteed is that instant rest after stressful times brings all frustrations down and refuels our moral engines to give the max. again.

Having aآ comfyآ sofa while watching a good movie and eating something yummy is a nice way to shift chaotic thoughts to the amnesia lane.

Sometimes i can’t enjoy that coziness when i concentrate on the lack of intimacy in my life but lately I’ve been able to adjust the feelings of emptiness that keeps nagging with feelings of content of what i already have.

I realized that the more you think about something the more it continues to exist and nag…

The choice is mine…concentrate on pain or joy?

I have both and it’s only up to me to let one of them rule.

This is one fine day…wish you the same 🙂

What’s your wildest dream?

Acting in a Quentin tarantino’s?!

Playing back to back with beckham?

Winning the Nobel prize? a Pulitzer?



What’s your wildest dream?!

You can think of this as a tag or just an old blogger scratching an old fantasy and sharing it with you all…just think back….what?


I’m only in a mood for something so far from all the heartaching serious wild dreams …


My wildest dream is: singing centre stage…Oscar night!






I should’ve known those…to keep me sane today!

Dearest Jerusalem stirred this and as i take another look at it today…well, yes, I would’ve loved to know those to skip the struggle now.

  1. Remember the target i set last week to loose the 20 kg…belmonasba ya3ni today is the weigh in and i lost 4 kg and I’m thrilled for that…guess what? I’m not even gonna treat me something yummy for the achievement…no no, I’m only gonna commit to more exercise which brings me back to the first thing i shouldve known before i turned 18: NEVER take your teen metabolism for granted. Exercising your way up to the thirties make you feel healthy and beautiful and ageless.

  2. You don’t have to sacrifice something that you love for anyone. If your passion is music or writing or hiking or whatever, you can be what youآ wantآ and be with whoever you want while continuing to do what you love.

  3. Take lots of pictures, have lots of friends, take every trip possible,آ try every type of food but slow down on the guys thing…not that big a deal.

  4. Read very mature and sophisticated books but behave as naughty as a child…don’t over do the grown up look and behavior…grown ups don’t like it anyway!

  5. Perfect Love stories areآ a myth!!آ clear and simple…

  6. oh, one more thing, perfect love stories are a MYTH!

آ Now I’m tagging 7ala, fantasia, That guy,آ Summer, Fadi K, Gooogآ and Mais*

Guys, feel free to skipp 🙂

Thanks for jeru 🙂



About blogging / 2007

Yes, It’s different than 2006…way different.

It has more wit and attractive writing styles with loads of skills…Lacks Spiritآ and warmth big time!!

It has become more of a tribal socio- intellectual act…Less merged with different oriented identities and personalities…small parties in a box!

It has become more Bold with aآ new fresh wave of fearless Arabs who live abroad…the thing that saved them from the social/ traditional calculations local Arabs were raised with.

Trendy…not so authentic.

Glamorous…blinging with characters and thoughts, specially that most of the new drift blog anonymously.

Rude people turned soft and soft ladies are more sharp tongued than ever…

I guess no wonder why I deactivated My face book account…I had no time for it’s Jam plus my good old blogging which i enjoyed for the past 20 months.

People came and went and new people came to blog…some old bloggers changed style to cope and some maintained their originality.

Mais*, Neverland, M.M, Sarah, Jerusalem, Afzal, Danah…and many more, I missed you…wishing you all the best.

Fadi, Khalidah, 7ala, Abed ….and others, you’re so lazy 😛

Summer…Hat tip for keeping the originality and the spirit of your blog yet adding more with the new one.

As for me realityآ blogging was just like reality living…no one acceptsآ you easily if you changed orآ soundedآ different not that i give much of a d*** but hey, I notice.

Just like i noticed several blogs with great skill flooding from them: that guy, organic muslimah and the dancer who liked to read.


It has been nice to me…not so good and not bad, except for one nasty thing…I discovered thatآ a certain Blogger went around his air headed friends bashing me among other several female bloggeretts…I had two choices, either a great nasty campaign to really wipe the net with this dude or just neglect that pervert. and i would’ve gone for the first except for the busy schedule I’m always loaded with.

Why would he do that ? I really have no idea but if he’s so sick that he bashes people around just to gain points thenآ I should feel sympathy not anger…and I’m sure my friends who know me and whom i only care what do they think…will never believe him.


To wrap it all up…writing is therapeutic…empties the mind and soul from day to day frustrations and thought traffic.

Every single blogger I had the chance to meet face to face never failed my high expectations.

It’s so personal, to me yet so common and i never felt scared from the huge, wide and hiding eyes behind the screens of the Net.

I played yet simple…and I wish everyone a Simple, nice and peaceful new year 🙂


I’ll be taking a loooong virtual nap from this blog…I’ll try to master that guitar thing 🙂 yeah…i’m learning 🙂 maybe i can let it out some other way..


See you later…Happy 2008آ :)آ 


Can’t give it a title

The insomniac who rarely sleeps went to bed at 18:00 and woke upآ at midnight thinking ofآ things that has nothing to do with….hmmm…actually anything.



آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ  carrie-anne-baade

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ آ 

  • It has been almost two months since i last wrote any short stories…no ideas hopping and nagging to get written on some deserted blog…whether it’s good or bad it felt great to write them…my head is numb!

  • We actually see the drawings of a five year old as pieces of art…although they are not by any damn artistic scale…we bring the scale down to their age and judge, putting in mind the thought they are trying to express and for that we genuinely say the BRAVO excited cheer…how come we don’t treat people the same way?? When we judge we expect the highest most noble things and crucify who ever fails that by fingerآ pointing and prejudice…

  • Allah created birds and made thousands of types,shapes,colours and sizes each of a different special task…All other species are the same way…humans may differ in looks but not in function…yet they are uniquely different in characters…which is a very accurate detailed thing that differentiates one than the other…we can get along but we can never be identical… It’s better this way…even if jerks will continue ruling the world.

  • Seventhآ Sense…the curse of all curses…Master of disaster…The Italianآ Stallion…Rrrrrrrrrrrocky Balboooooooooooaaaaa hehehehehe 😀 kiddin.No But really…آ we all have that…some more than others but we all get what someone is plotting or understanding their lie or guessingآ something some has been up to…without a word, hint or even a wink…it would be a strong feeling of belief…have you ever had that and it turned out you were absolutely right? well i have and let me tell you…it’s the most annoying thing in this whole world…it’s way better and easierآ being a dumb ass than being this – let’s call it – smart.

  • Smokers know they are burning their chests with those inflamed dried trash…they write it clear on the packs ( smoking will kill you, you damn fool ) yet they make it, pack it, add poison to it and sell it to you with the waxed grinآ  of the Jokerآ ( Batman…1989 )…The answer to the WHY is that they freakin’ love it…see what love can do…?!

  • I want to see aآ movie i used to love when i was a teen… Fire with Fire.

  • I want to hearآ a song i used to love also when i wasآ the same teen… Broken wings.

  • Don’t have the movie now nor the song so Gary moore will do for now…after all i have empty rooms!

  • Plans are : get out of bed…shower…do some work till morning then stop by ( on the run ) for coffee and up to the office…my boss is finally back after six weeks away leaving me with the whole thing on my head…It’ll be a sleazy day and i know it…I’ll play the cool – know it all – assistantآ and will hope for the best which is….the day would only pass.آ 

I’m sorry i commented!!

I rarely feel sorry for stating an openion…but i regret i commented on the critic blog!!

I hate name calling from anonymous people…i hate cursing countries or citizens of any country cause if that’s not stupid i don’t know what is!!

I thought the blogger day idea was silly that’s it…doesn’t mean i’m offending the girl…and i don’t think it’s proper to curse her land..where abouts and the surrounding countries just to let out some steam for god knows what!

Now the girl offended jordanians in a veryآ provoking way…that i felt bad cause i’ve gained many precious friendships from jordan and i know they are fine people…and commentetors really crossed the line calling her names and have been so rude.

I won’t ask the WHY question cause i already know the answer but i’ll state my openion again – hopefully i won’t regret it this time- and say that having such hatred for someone or a country is really sick cause if you can’t think rationally about never ever judging people nor generalizing openions on COUNTRIES…How could any oneآ name call millions of citizens and pass judgment on them and how can anyone think someone he doesn’t even know or seen a *****??!!

I’m sorry i commented on that post…only because i don’t like my name to be around such ugliness.

And another thing…why would they think it’s Qwaider’s??!!

I can disagree with him on issues but i never known him as a chicken hiding behind some fake name to curse people…I think we all know he always gets into trouble for being so upfront and states what ever he thinks!!

This silly thing got on my nerves ma3a enny mesh na2sa…abadan!!

Black and jeans…Shaving thoughts

Since I managed to swallow the fact that I have to return to work and retain control over things…I started having shaving visions…

No…let me start over so you can get what i meant…now…it’s not a man /woman lame thing because if you’ve been around here you’ll know I totally enjoy things just the way they are…no Anti Manhood flames can heat my head…no am I frustratedآ nor feeling any less…as always I think we are equal but each in his own way and nature shouldn’t be interfered with.

BUT ( that little word that always intimidates of the coming argument )…but, it is really out there…that men are looked at and treated more seriously than women and I’m talking business wise…they are never contained into a limited title orآ grants…yet, Having the hard working nature and the sharp skills freaks men out and they start to panic and they jump to the nearest hummer to nail you down.

So, it got me thinking…if i were a man i would’ve had an easier life that’s for sure…and suddenly I’d picture myself shaving…in front of the mirror and lifting my chin up so i canآ shave that curve or this cheek…oh…and ties…I’d be chocking on those all the time…

Remember Fionna…shrek’s chick ?

She used to shave…fight and had her way just fine as a lady…so maybe the problem is that strength gives the allure of success…

better go get the foam!

I bet men think about all their issues while they shave…it’s always quiet and they all seem to concentrate on it…it must be more than just a shave…it must be a boost of confidence…so he shaves..colognes and puts on the chocking band and VOILA!…open the road to success..

When i wanna have the same boost…I put on anything black on a pair of jeans and Voila…bas mesh awe ya3ni!آ آ آ 

Enjoying some little things

I’m calm..andآ I have to thank Allah for that..

So..i felt alert to all the little things i enjoy around me..instead of only concentrating on the big things i don’t have yet..well they’re not that big but anyway..enough about those and alot of the others..

* How easily i park my car while most people around the block suffer…my nice parking boy takes care of it..all i have to do is show up and leave the car to him and voila!!! right in the middle of the craziest traffic jam in cairo 😀

* How i have a little wizard who helps me when ever i’m into technical trouble..or personal..my sweetest 3abQarino 🙂

* The morning message i get from FEDO every few weeks..draw a biiiiiiiig smile on my face…May allah bless him and his mrs. 🙂

* How we come up with the silliest comments at exactly the same time and crack into laugh when we realize that…that’s ENO i’m speaking about 🙂

* My wake up call….my inner voice…my reminder of what’s right and true and beautiful..my guarding angel from across the oceans…the shoulder i cry at…the dream i will never have…his voice brings me back to me…the real self i wanna be…

* Hassan cracking into tears from laughter when he gets on Jommana’s nerves and annoys her..poor girl…naughty hassan..cute kiddos…I’m enjoying them so much these days..they’re a bliss..a true blessing..

* The cafiene dose after long fasting hours..all doses after long fasting hours.

* When i put my heart into work and it pays off..and i see that empressed spark in my boss’ eyes..woooooooow..my thrill!!

* A very sweet e-mail from a very sweet friend…unexpectedly 🙂

* Writing a very nice story..in my eyes of course…i’m really thinking of publishing some of what i wrote..do u think it’s worth it???honestly!!!

* The fresh tunes of the radio every morning on my way to work..

* An sms or a call….from him…

* Myآ beautiful nile…and the climate these daysآ is incredible…amazing nile cruise is recommended.

*آ Pedicures….a very simple boost…to my toes of course 😀

* Singing out loud in my car with the shields up and no one can hear me and i’m totally into it i must look so silly…but i love it 😀

* Movie theatersآ …and by the way..i loveآ elwad 7elmy 😀

* Chocolates and Amstelآ Zero….yummy.

* Reading Mahmoud Ezat…please check his work…

* Reading Jaheen…and the best novelest ever …Mohamed Abd Elhaleem Abdallah.

* Coelho is soothing…just that..takes me away from stressful thinking to simpleآ soothing streams..

* I enjoy all music..Music runs through me…

* I enjoy Daddy’s tunes..

* I enjoyآ driving..perfumes and new underwear 😀 sorry but i do..

* Most of all…I’m Enjoying My little girl’s Birthday..Happy Birthday Jomana..come on check it out 🙂

Coast..a..rika :)

The day i finally could say bye bye to work – just for some time – and head to the coast was the day i developed a burning fever..don’t call it jinx!!..

I wrapped up work and at five pm i rushed home so tired and feverish as I’ve forgot my phone at work..i couldn’t call first and to my surprise i found my kids hopping up and down ready to dive in the blue mediterranean waters..i had to swallow some panadol extras and drive 250 Km to the north coast..i really don’t know how i drove..reached there and how have i seen the road ahead..

After almost tow hours i reached my cousin’s villa and the minute i stepped out of the car i felt nothing..my eyes refused to open just for a glance and i was almost carried up to the bed room where i spent nearly two days in fever..

Saturday morning was great..being pampered by my dear team of cousins was so cute..as i started to feel a little better and after making sure my kids were fine and having a great time with my younger cousin’s started to enjoy the great atmosphereآ they made for me..a comfy red softآ arm chair right next to the terrace where sea breeze refreshes me and the blue waters cools my thoughts..nice music and funny company with some enjoyable beverages made the day really relaxing..

When we decided to go for a ride..my cousin insisted that i would drive..i wondered why as she knew i wasn’t feeling well yet and she knew i never drove a hydromatic gear..i always avoided them and insisted that i like the action in the manual cars..couldn’t say no more than two times as she’s dear to me and the sneaki girl challanged that i would deal with the car..i drove..and it went fine..actually she was impressed that i managed this well and didn’t hit the brakes suddenly out of use to ordinary cars..and i started accelarrating and having fun with the easy to drive car..she looked at me while i drove while doing something else and smiled..i asked her..why are you smiling at me..she said: Rika..you can do anything..so good..so fast..you’re strong rasha..you’re strong..

She looked ahead and kept smiling..and i kept thinking..of course we killed every issue with our all night discussion..and we decided to take a dive..

The most nice thing was theآ beach..there was no one..everyone returned to the cityآ to get ready for school so we had it all to ourselves and it has been ages since i sun tanned..swam or felt those amazing waves..kids had so much fun with me..and i was a kid again myself..

The day after was so different..i was really focused..all issues were so present in my mind..work issues..life ones too..and with out knowing i started pushing all the stress I’ve been under the past few months up to the surface..hurt me..tired me..then i woke up the next day so determined top return to Cairo..left all the relaxation and beauty behind me willingly cause i needed to..i needed to wrap up the picture thatآ started to develop in my head..and i needed to start action!!

Dropped mom and kids home and rushed to the office..took care of some things and ran to my consultant..let my fears out..along with my plans for tomorrow if Allah wills..and after things were clear and a bold time line has been drew..i felt this great feeling of faith..Allah gave me a new charge of faith in my heart..that i very honestly lacked recently..it was a great feeling that left me in tears..tears that i normally shed out of pain and difficulty..not out of faith..not out of feelings that have been touched and moved..not out of hope and remorse..

Allah is so kind and so merciful..and i will try to do my best in everything to deserve 1% of his kindness and mercy.

I can talk about faith now..as i feel it..and almost see it touch my heart.

Strange how unexpected people could be your guide..and strange how unexpected people could have so much appreciation and faith for you while you expect the tiniest amount of those from others..

I learned a new lesson yesterday..it’s the heart..and the heart only..that will lead us to light.

Erase all other calculations and weigh people by their hearts..surround yourselves with the kind..the pure hearted..no matter what else..only then you’ll gain..only then you’ll minimize the pain..

May Allah grants us his mercy and kindness.