2010 in review (insider from WP)

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Wow.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 5,900 times in 2010. That’s about 14 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 146 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 162 posts. There were 41 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 3mb. That’s about 3 pictures per month.

The busiest day of the year was September 9th with 111 views. The most popular post that day was May the Quran burning be the light….

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were qwaider.com, omraneya.net, twitter.com, Google Reader, and facebook.com.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for being a hero has its price, breathnotes, lazy butt syndrome, breathnotes.wordpress.com, and who invented ok.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

May the Quran burning be the light… September 2010
8 comments

2

Being a Hero… October 2010
4 comments

3

About * February 2007

4

My good old blogging days… December 2010
22 comments and 1 Like on WordPress.com,

5

Second marriages… March 2010
4 comments

(With this post i Finally say Goodbye to 2010 and its phase and i welcome a new year..with all what it could promise…Thank you blogging friends and readers for making this blog interesting, Rasha)

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Kids are raising us, actually!

So, everyone’s basic story…they wanna fall in love, get engaged, their families would fight over silly stuff, they go pick the furniture, try to skip the curtain’s expenses, pay them and more after all, get the TV set, find a perfect gown, pick the matching bow tie, seek a nice 3rd degree singer, the camera man flashes his lights till dawn, they go to their room….and BANG!

Life begins…

And…in a few months a life begins kicking…

Well, everyone would hold a secret wish for the favorite gender…mommy would want a pink little doll to dress up and do her hair…daddy would want a little footballer to shout at matches with…grannies would pray for twins…to get it over with and have both genders and double joy…lots of baby shopping…lots of baby kicks…lots of screams and lots of money to pay and diapers to change and burbing to bat out of their tiny tummies…many damage because of their small curious hands…many nibbling on anything but their meals…copy books to buy, animal stuffed pencils to sharpen, dumb teachers to argue with as they just don’t get the kid!!

And we worry, we get scared…we wish them the best and fear from the passing breeze to harm them…we try our best to help them be good…be better…be best…anything but us…and everything that we are not…and all the things we couldn’t have.

WE set the rules and we pay days, brain cells and many nights so we can raise them…

Yet, Fact is…they raise us…

We behave better around them…we do our best for them…we stick to a healthy daily routine for them…we go out to make them happy…we work just to provide for them…we sleep when they are peacefully sleeping and wake whenever there’s anything bothering them…

Wo do our best to make a great home…we treasure the marriage…we get to know fellow parents…we invite more kids…we watch our language and our safety envronment…we think of their feelings…we listen to them with love…we celebrate them with pride…they are the goal and the award and the test.

They make us laugh and they caress our hands and they kiss our cheeks truthfully and devotedly when nothing else is guaranteed.

They speak their minds to give us a  wow moment and think: OH wow…we made this!

They forgive…completely.

They love…purely.

They are the warmth and the compassion…they feel us without one word…

Kids raise us…actually! 

(Inspired by Dino’s)

Burried rage under a thousand sun

The anger is like a thread

A three-week old fetus

A tip of a broken bed

A pre mature tear…that won’t fall but instead,

It’d  freeze upon my command

It’d not fall on my hand

Nor my scarf

nor wet my hair

As i lay rolling on cold sheets

Trying hard to understand

The whys..the whats…the cheats

How you are made of lead

when was the truths lost

and where will the lies go

and what are the scars you must

leave bleeding on my soul

And who has cut your hands

and put those knives instead

and how do devils understand

your language and what goes in your head

The questions steal my nights

The answers steal my days

The waiting for your eyes

to meet all my rage

The rage i locked up deep

inside dead souls and hearts

inside dead soils and stars

inside the thousand sun

to melt the love away

and melt the tears away

and melt the flesh so that

the scars would go away

to erase all the existence

to demand with my persistence

that lords of light would judge

and lords of fire would judge

that no forgiveness

and nothing put pain

and nothing but shame

and nothing but blame

would know my heart…if i ever feel for you again!!

I feel…do i??

When I have it, it’s like having a jewel…it’s like i am a jewel…it is rightious…it is high…it is secure…it is heavy, like a tree weighing down its root and pushing it deeper to a fertile ground…when i have it i am happy that i am…i am proud that i am…i am above…i am beyond…i am on track…my mind is covered by a clear shelter…

When i lose it i am lighter…i am a rose…i am a star…i shine…i am vibrant…i am attractive or the attraction…i am a laugh…i am color…i am live piece of music, When i lose it i am scared…i am less me…i am stained…i am bare…i am common…i am as fragile as an autumn leaf trying hard to ling on to the tree on a windy night…i am far…my mind is trembling from the cool wind…

I feel, now, drifted from both sides and to both sides, at the same time…

I feel embarassed…I feel less…I feel alive…

But do i know which feeling will i decide to live…completely…or will i keep swinging for a while??

Going gradient:: – Dreams (by Mais*)

As part of the “good old blogging days 2006/2007”  i am happy to host my dear friend Mais* from the good old days when we used to blog together through Jeeran…when we used to wow each other everyday by words that come from the soul.

Thank you Mais*

  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

  

Going gradient:: – Dreams

 

Define it:

  • Attempts, Messages, illusions ….
  • Where you don’t have to dip the truth in sugar.
  • Be a lot of people at the same time.
  • Keep an identity loud and clear.
  • Moments in different accents.
  • Hide and seek.
  • You never know what else…

            Everything holds up something.

 Bite it:

You Are [A delighted cube. of sugarUnique as a pearl]]

Be careful what you wear to bed at night, you never know who you’ll meet in your dreams.”

Love it:

[What does he fill to her left side …] a Dream…

You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.”

 

Hate it:

[To people like you, your analog of my own personality lacks your confidence.

In simple words … I am sure I don’t like you!!]I Miss you sometimes ??!

He laughs at my dreams, but I dream about his laughter. ”

 

 

 

iHappy

The only goal that would unify the powers and energies of man kind is definitely Being happy.

I can’t think of any other goal we could all agree on.

I can’t think of any other reason behind actions…anyother reason behind making a passionate effort.

But sometimes people misinterpret some feelings and mix it for happiness…like joy, success, pleasure and winning.

Each one of those feelings is great on its own and is even greater if accompanied by another of the sort…but, this is not happiness…just an aspect of it…but not it.

Happiness is accepting what we have while being problem free and while having peace of mind and while trying to attain one or all of the previous; joy, pleasure, winning, success…etc.

proof: i can win the lottery and not be happy cause i have no one to share it with or no health to enjoy it or maybe phobic and always afraid of losing it.

I can have the love of my life to enjoy, while being envious with a lousy career and a drug problem that messes up my life.

Or ….many many examples.

Happiness is about purity and fulfilment and peace…happiness is a collective feelings about many blesses.

And happiness could never be about something bad…I really believe so…because happiness is as faith…it is a universal rule Allah put…no thief could be happy, no killer and never an evil soul.

The more pure we can be the more likely we are to be happy.

and, We can never be happy about something wrong…it has another definition but it is not happiness.

a lot of money earned by any devilish act may make someone feel good they have it…but it is never happiness.

adultery maybe full of sinful pleasure…but it is never fulfilling…it never brings happiness.

unfair winning may get someone benifits…but never rewarding.

And gloating because someone is in hard times while it seems you are doing great…is never the right situation to feel good…as know what, harm might be an up hill for someone in order to rise, while joy and good things coming in the way of a bad person might be the very pit that awaits his burial.

Happiness is a bliss…Happiness is to be worked for…Happiness is for the pure, the good and the worthy.

And life can be cruel, people can be brutal and hurtful and time can be tough…but Allah is ALWAYS fair…always fair!

Good Old Blogging Days *Event*

And I have an announcement to make:

But let me give you some flashback, It all started when I tweeted about the good old blogging days back in 2006/2007, Abed tweeted the same and shouted out for the gold bloggers of that era…a couple of days later i invited my fellow friends/bloggers who were on my old Macbook account to post again together, on the same day.

Some of them don’t have blogs any more and i was really not optimistic that i’d find them excited…but, to me surprise, almost each one of them replied and they were excited and i know it will be a very special day…

Who never knew blogging back then surely didn’t know blogging…i can assure you 🙂

So…we’re bringing a hint of it back…

It is an open invitation to old fellow bloggers from that Era…

Tuesday 21st, we will host previous bloggers, we will post on blogs and on the event page on face book, check it out:

Good Old Blogging Days 2006/2007

Till now we have: Mais, Hala T., Hamede, Fadi K., Lama, Ola, Abed, Sharifo…and hopefully many more would join us soon.

Check out the event, like it and you can post to the wall, join discussions, post articles and more.

Make sure you check the event on Tuesday 21 st December, when blogging turns to gold…again!

Facebook Trash!!!

I am fed up with the amount of dirt, the amount of moral contamination and the amount of dumb contradictions in life, that i really wish i could set fire in every nasty person i encounter.

But facebook, collected everything in life and symbolizes how deteriorated humans have become, especially in this country, right in front of our eyes.

Best thing about my page, although i deactivate it most of the time, is that there’s no one there but friends that i have known quite well.

and i have like 40 people all together…and i don’t accept random adds.

Wanna know what intrigued this angry post??

Well, take a look: i received an add request from some guy i don’t know…i opened his page to re-check if i knew him and i found this page and i left him a comment and of course declined the add:

The guy posts about and uses a full covered face veiled woman as his profile image.

The guy posts about no TV in ramadan, no smoking and about veil and women’s proper clothing from him -MESSED UP- point of view.

That pic. i have taken doesn’t show about 15 other women in underwear and/or sleeping on a bed half-naked.

I am fed up men “nagaset” eldemagh de…

If he was ordinary, without the veil picture, without the preaching i wouldn’t have gone mad…i am no nun nor a saint…i mess up like all people…but,

I freakin’ stopped preaching a long time ago honestly when i felt i wasn’t up to that standard.

What the hell is wrong with people?!

I write a story on my other blog about sex and how it affects men and women…i write about women being messed up by men and still chapters ahead i will write about men and how do they perceive the whole sexy mama’s things…as i know that sex occupies 70% if not even more from the male mind…and probably the female as well…

I know for a fact that polluted minds, diminished morals and sick  souls take sex, that god creation for man kind to produce…well..and have fun…they take it and wreck houses, hurt people, and act like pigs.

I wrote about that many times and i will keep on writing as i can’t just lock up every male pants or put barbwire around every female pair of legs…all i can do is write…scream…and tell people to love and have fun but with purity, dignity and decency.

How hard could that be!!!!

Inside Rasha’s head

First sign of silliness is referring to myself as rasha…warning sign!! warning sign!!

it has been a weird time for me recently.

Nothing feels like it always felt.

I am going through sad stuff and when i stop and try read my actions and feelings for the phase i feel astonished that it doesn’t resemble what i would have felt like or acted like two years ago.

Have i grown? well…maybe…

Is it because what i’m facing now hits the true core? yes…another maybe..

And maybe it’s both…combined…

And the difference between past hard time and this one is that i am not impulsively reacting to my pain. I am not doing anything stupid that would inflict more hurt upon me.

I am being quite and sad yet not dramatic.

I am sure that i have changed. I am positive that finally life experiences, difficulties, therapy and the gained realization of my self value have all created the new person i am now.

I look back almost five years ago and remember how i treated myself into a new mess up every time i messed up…how hurting myself more was the pain-killer that caused me more injuries…

Now, i know for sure that i have healed…that i, now, have the ability to mourn without  killing more senses as i go.

I am grateful for the past two years, with all their troubles, with all the struggle, with all the hurt, i am grateful because i had love that concurred that all and i had warmth that won over all that, and i had strength to push towards a better life…that might not have seen full success but it was indeed an added value to my mind, my heart and a positive support towards my healing.

Maybe this is why i am sad…not sad as in whining…no…sad as in grief…and i am not trying to wallow in it…actually i am taking Ahmed’s long life advice and i am taking life one day at a time.

As grief is a deep sense of sorrow in the heart that only shows how major the loss was.

And grief doesn’t dispense or neglect memories and cherishing towards the lost. no, if anything,  it generates an everlasting emotion that will treasure it forever.

So, i might be sad but i am proactive…i am there for my kids, i am not going mad on them, i am taking care of my business, i am respecting myself more than i have ever done in my adult life, i can see a peaceful future and i am really hopeful and optimistic that Allah would grant me and my loved ones a calm satisfied life.

I feel a great difference in me. even when my tears fall -and that is a lot i admit-  they do not fall angrily…they fall gracefully…they fall because of that little pinch in the heart that mourns what i had to let go of…what i was forced to lose…and what i needed to gain.

The tour in my head has ended for now…in my head there’s a tear and there’s a smile.

And all i can ask of Allah  is peace…for everyone 🙂

A little thing of beauty

The little things we do to make our lives more beautiful.

The little things we see and make us feel all beautiful.

and beauty has a lot to do with the soul, and that is a cliché i realize but…it is so true…so so true.

my cousin got me a cherry blossom scented candle and a box of pot-pouri scented the same…at night, i light the candle along with the vanilla one i bought recently and enjoy the beautiful fragrance combination and enjoy the dimmed light…i look at the new painting i hung on my bedroom wall…i make myself a drink…smoke a little and watch a great movie or chat with a friend a bit while listening to my Yanni music…

I, feel beauty in every sense of the word…

I watched a movie called Letters to juliet, the movie was a piece of heaven…manifested beauty…infused beauty…beauty of picture and beauty of spirit…and stressed on the value of the beauty to make dreams come tru and believe in love…

To spend a day stress free…with people who love you for real…with people who appreciate you…people whose eyes reflect how beautiful they see you…how beautiful they think your soul is…and you feel beauty all around you.

I think less talk, less fakeness and more truth, substance  and value reflect beauty as well…as it soothes the soul… 

my peach tea, new perfume, nice company, smiling kids cuddling, enjoying purity, nice old friends who are really there not just acting there and new interesting ones…is beauty…