البُعد بيشدنى شد…مع انى تحت امره من كل بُد…
البُعد غرام وامتد…وَنَس..لا عمره جرح ولا صد
When darkness is seen as broad daylight
When harm is seen as sheer delight
When truths are only repeated lies
When myths reform into cries
Day dream all you want poor mind
you are alone, detained, collapsed yet can find,
sweet logic against a sort of madness, one of a kind
sweet reality…broken melody…echoes defined
you fall weak to your knees
can’t bear to stand, or run…you just freeze
can’t bring a stream to the scream to release
Ache and more ache pulse in ease
create a hurricane of words and tunes
swirling up to the seventh sky..forming dunes
lay onto the ground…magnify the ruins
sleep into the earth…restrain your doings
Madness will sink you down
Laughs will burn you up
Delusions will eat you alive
hurt will track your mind
crazy wishes can’t change them
million trials can’t bring them
crying and wallowing and giving can’t cure them
Madness is seeing the pit and choosing the fall
Madness is losing one bit what you know is whole
Madness is sewing the silkiness of a wall
Madness is you…loving…who can never be all
Madness is believing the lies and stall
Madness is forgiving sins and meeting run with crawl
Madness is giving big and never even taking small
Madness is desiring at night and by day appal
Madness is breaking airless rooms with a cry..a call
Madness is unpinning what you spent years to install
Madness is the GOOD you…out of control.
Will you always turn your back?
leave on a bleeding track…
Will you always walk away?
pump into the walls of the lane
fit in as it closes on you again…
hide the tears that fall and sway
from side to side afraid to say
How hurt you are…what they did…
Will their noise forever be your tone
Will the lights dim the black and crack the bone
should your eyes burn with their sting
Will it drive you insane and turn you to stone
You smile You smile You smile
Support him and stand for a while
and they would shoot
and your heart… your root
will always long away and away
and your tears will fall yet sway and sway
see, your lane is longer than long
and the walk is anything but strong
and the shake in your hands will point who’s to blame
and the break in your voice will scream his name
and the sight of the tiles stretching afar
and the ache in your heart will deepen the scar
and life will all be the lane
as you walk wishing it ends
and it will end
but the lane will carve your name…
*Inspired by Alicia…
March has cracked my bones…It has been confusing, exhausting and mind draining…and really tight with the bucks…
But Today is a brilliant day…It ends and takes March with it.
It takes all the waiting…All the confusion…All the back and forth annoying movement between offices, decisions and urges.
March ended and I’m happy that i can mark the end of a 120 days critical phase in my life.
Today, I settled in my work…made up my mind and settled…and I am happy with what Allah gave me…and i will build from there…not build anywhere else.
Today, although i was very worried about my sick mom, Her spirit lifts mine…she is a very courageous lady, don’t know how i forgot that and expected her to stop caring for her health…Inshallah she’ll be fine.
Today, I decided to recall my old forgotten ability to gain friends…for real. i tried to deactivate Facebook (i don’t need virtual communication,,,at least for a while) but i couldn’t as I’ll be deactivating Dad’s page as well…so, i made it a private profile…i don’t wanna read two liners from people…I want to hear from them…I’ll focus on the real people in my life and the real people i would like to earn their new existence.
Today, I will buy a book and read…and I will write as vivid as i did before “news” took over my life…and I will work for causes…and all that with the help and will of Allah.
From now on, I will have fun with my kids…I will listen to old music i love…I will dance and walk down my favorite street.
and I will welcome a new month…a new quarter of the astonishing life changing year of 2011 and i will set new fresh goals…I will enjoy life, love and people…I will fight when i need to and i will relax as often as i can.
I’m glad i have you bloggy…forgive me for looking elsewhere 🙂
The anger is like a thread
A three-week old fetus
A tip of a broken bed
A pre mature tear…that won’t fall but instead,
It’d freeze upon my command
It’d not fall on my hand
Nor my scarf
nor wet my hair
As i lay rolling on cold sheets
Trying hard to understand
The whys..the whats…the cheats
How you are made of lead
when was the truths lost
and where will the lies go
and what are the scars you must
leave bleeding on my soul
And who has cut your hands
and put those knives instead
and how do devils understand
your language and what goes in your head
The questions steal my nights
The answers steal my days
The waiting for your eyes
to meet all my rage
The rage i locked up deep
inside dead souls and hearts
inside dead soils and stars
inside the thousand sun
to melt the love away
and melt the tears away
and melt the flesh so that
the scars would go away
to erase all the existence
to demand with my persistence
that lords of light would judge
and lords of fire would judge
that no forgiveness
and nothing put pain
and nothing but shame
and nothing but blame
would know my heart…if i ever feel for you again!!
There is that type of tears…the one that doesn’t reflect pain…that doesn’t burn the cheeks…nor extract hurt and was inflicted by ache.
The type that cleans…the tear that you shed while having a smile trembling upon your lips.
The tears you taste and doesn’t push on self pity.
The tears we appreciate falling…the tears we treasure…the ones that aren’t from pressure.
But from the sweet sensation of a tender scene in a movie…
Or from achieving sweet bitter victory in an epic…
Or from seeing that love conquered all hardship…
Or from listening wholeheartedly to a revolutionary poem recites with fire…
Or from touching words of wisdom…
Or just mercy from Allah…
The tears you feel needed…
The sweet tears that rinse the soul and purify the heart…
Those tears…are a soft bat on the shoulder in hard times…
you know those tears…