دعنى أُحَدِثُكَ عن خجلى

أسدله على أكتافى

فتحمل ثُقل السنين

حملاً أضنو به

ويغمرنى حنين

الى أمان ليس منى

فقط من آخرين

 

ويمر بى أناس لهم مئات عيون

يتحاشون النظر وتزدرى الجفون

وتتأسف الشفاه بصمت وزموم

وتنفرج قليلاً للضرورة بالسكون

 

فأنا ما عدت أنا

إذ قابلت سماء الله برأسى

فأنا ما عدت أنا

إذ أظهرت ضعفى

فأنا ما عدت أنا

 

ولو أننى أنا…بوجودٍ ظننتنى فقدته منذ زمن

ولو أننى أنا…بضمير زادت حياته حياه

ولو أننى أنا…بقُربٍ يَرْهَبُ الرحيم

ولو أننى أنا…بعقلى وسِرى وفحواى

وإننى أحاول…ان أصاحب خجلى..أيضاً

وأتحدث وأحاور وأنظر فى العيون…وأكثر

 

وتهرب من قلبى دقة

حين يسود الصمت لحظة

حين يشيح النظر عنى بصدمة

وحين يتكلم وكأنه لا يرى

ويصير من هو..هو…بعيداً..متكلفاً…ممثلاً…

ويصير المعنى…هزلياً سخيف

وأشعر بغُربة..وأُرَبت على نفسى..

وتظل القاعدة: هذا أيضاً سيمر

 

أشياء تَجُبّ أشياء…أحوال تُغَير أحوال

وأنا…يتقلب فى جوفى الليل والنهار

وأتغير فى روحى كالفصول

ويظل قلبى واحد…يعشق الجبار

يخاف …يرجو الرحمة…مرة أخرى

يرجو الفرصة

مرة أخرى

ويرجو الصفح…والتفهم…وتقدير حرية الإختبار

 

فالطريق يجب أن يُطرق

والإجابة يجب أن تَصدُق

والمآل يجب أن يُدرك

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A tiny pinch of salt…

We were having sohour, I and my mother last night. she made us the greatest dish of foul ever (Fava beans)…it had nothing but a tbsp of zebda balady (home-made butter).

I took the first lo2ma…tasted goodbut something was missing…it felt like it needed more butter..but the thought clinched my arteries and there was no way I could add any more even if it is yummy.

My mom felt the same but she said: ” it needs a pinch of salt!”

She added the salt and voila…the dish zabat!

It really tasted like it needed butter when in fact it needed salt.

And yes, this is  a metaphoric post…and yes, our intense life issue that is missing something to sort out for us and suits our taste is in fact in need of a wake up call and a pinch of reality to really make good..then we could really enjoy.

More Huge heavy burdens might kill us…salts, on the other hand, may burn if sprinkled on wounds, yet guess what…IT HEALS!

Jan. or June??

Like nothing has changed…Like arrogance never learned the lesson…Like Evil never subsided in front of the powers of what’s right.

again…they strike…again they beat…they injuir and they kill.

With their newly bought fiercer tear gas bombs and their stronger bullets and their vigorous guns…Again they behave ruthlessly and again they carve a thousand holes in the flesh of the egyptian people.

And again…they find weaponless people to blame…and again they detain civil to the military jails and in front of  the military courts they will be judged.

It is all coming back again…

Like a rerun…a cruel show that won’t stop running…

Am I naive thinking that a new era has begun?? was i a fool? you might answer yes…but let me tell you…maybe the wishful thinking and the simple true rights i am in favor of and would always call for sound silly to you…

Maybe i sound so…but…basic line…plots are dirty…power will forever contaminated…politics will forever be a nasty game…and fact is WE WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON BEHIND THE CURTAINS.

So..silly or not…no one has the truth but the ones playing the game…the military…the government…al-ekhwan (semi-knowledge/fierce plotter) and USA.

The most absurd is the government…the puppet show.

The old wolf in the military is soooo internally powerful that he sits back and points at things so they be or NOT.

Al ekhwan don’t give a rat’s ass about who gets hit or killed or unfairly prosecuted…their eye is on the “chairs” and they are focused and organized…manipulative and dumb sleepy people defending them should wake the hell up!!

USA…orchestrates…not clearly…just awaits and just waves the wicked wand so that the whole middle east would stay under its wing and playing for its favor.

DAMN trash can!!

but…we…simple ordinary people can’t help but stick to what our narrow realization leads us…to what our heart tells us…to what we believe in.

YES there’s a conspiracy…but…is it avoidable?? conspires can use any random act or event to make a catastrophy…brainstorm, can we help??

I don’t know…I’m not sure…it is way out of my head.

But i know this…I know goodness when i see it…I know justice…I know right and wrong…I know of ideals.

I know NO ONE should use force against civils…no matter what happened and why. It is against the very basic human rights…It is against the very basic morals and democracy.

I know no civil should be detained by the military and prosecuted in front of their courts.

I know the police should organize security not lead to its explosion.

I know ordinary people should WORK…and WORK and WORK to save our country and economy and stop the god damn strikes and the god damn chaos…I know we have many rights that were swallowed in the rotten tummies of the thief this country used to let run it…but everything has a proper timing and our rights (financially) can wait till we save the land we belong to.

I know that the Prime minister should be more firm…that al3esawy should be fired!! immediately!!

I know that a freakin’ football match shouldn’t be our main concern NOW!

I know that people want a humane treatment…a firm grip on security…a fair grip!

Fire has been burning tahrir square for the past 24 hours…fire that apparently was waiting to ignite since february…masks are dropping…new masks are going to cover other truths…untill when…well…until we succeed to finish what we started civilly…

Untill human life is treated as precious…Untill the egyptian flesh is not that cheap…untill we know what we deserve and work for it…untill we experience and practice democracy as a worthy nation…untill we view each other as worthy…and untill we choose and elect according to who’s/what’s best…not according any other sick agenda.

Well…I will keep wishing for the very best…I will keep believing in the freedom i want…I will keep believing in my right to live in my country valuably…I will keep wanting a better egypt for my kids to grow up in.

And I will keep praying…that all the mess accompanying the changing process would end as safely and pain-free as possible.

I and “Letting go”

At one afternoon…on the same grass that witnessed many of my evolutions, we sat…she, looking through me…listening to my inner thoughts…seeing the tense worries flood to wet her hands.

I…Was newly gathering meanings and emotions.

She…Was so present i could hear her soul.

And she looked at me that look…the “hugging” look…and told me: “Let go…to master matters of your heart…you need to let go”.

I understood…but felt i couldn’t wrap it around my finger.

Time passed by…a couple of months flew…and i came face to face with a choice…to shut a feeling away or let go…let them stream.

And i did…cautiously…and every time i get the urge to run and hide in my cave…I remind myself that down that road i am getting introduced to mastering the matters of my heart…

And i panic…and I hear random or supportive words….that pushes me a little further…and i allow myself to be pushed…to go one step further in that sea i am so afraid of…

I AM so affraid…because i almost believe…I am almost positive of the inevitable hurt…the endless regret…the ache…and I dread ache…I dread ache…I DREAD ACHE…

But i rationalize…sometimes, I get so mesmerized in the emotion that all those fears mute…vanish…and leave me in trance…with my soul and my heart reuniting…like that sunset by that shore on that day….in so much harmony and so much passion…

And i wake…because the rhyme was broken…the music stopping…the melody is out of tune…

And i feel like walking on  a cracked old wooden bridge…and i hold on to two tough ropes that swing with me so hard that my heart fells every single time i attempt to test the log and step on it…I sometimes freeze as i feel that log turning into scribbles flying in the air like confetti…and sometimes i hold on to the ropes so tight and risk only to find myself a little step ahead…

And…and i don’t know…

And not knowing always drives me crazy…

The scenarios…the possibility of the plots…

For i am not a game player…I’m not familiar with the rules…and actyually i don’t accept the concept.

One thought hold me together…One thought drives me ahead regardless of the suspecions…I am in the midst of mastering the matters of my heart…this is the process…this is the path and the only way to do it.

I am who i am…can’t change…i can only add new skills but could never be another person.

Life…Love…History…Ache…The laughter i know how to wholeheartedly exert or share or derive…I…I and letting go will be friends…It might be hard…but, i am bound to gain it…I will earn it!

Dear Religionist,

Do you have any idea what you’ve done to that child?

I know you were a child yourself…but you didn’t stop at that…you continued your malice attacks but in a different form…do you have any idea about the harm you have caused him?

You have changed a human being forever!

Your cruel remarks…your bigoty…your teasing, bullying and discrimination deformed him and many others like him.

Did you really feel superior because you have the religion of the majority? does being born to a family from a  certain religion make you better than every other human being different from yourself?

Who taught you that?

Which malignant call taught you that by being condescending, abusive and mean you get to be better?

Who taught you that by being a monster you benefit your religion? that by refusing any other way you are raising your assets?

And If someone did…How could you believe them?

have you ever felt any kind of regret that you’ve cornered the few different kids u had in class?

Was the jokes really that good?

Did you really and wholeheartedly laugh?

Or was it just a sick sadistic feeling you had enjoying hurting others…have you ever experienced being out numbered…ganged…hit…mocked at…just because your parents were of a different religion than the masses?

I guess you haven’t…well, I’ll tell you what would have happened…

You would have trembled like a leaf in a storm if some kid would pin you to the wall and keep insulting your religion….you would have been reluctant to tell freely about your beliefs, as you’ll feel the punch in the stomach before even getting touched…

The looks would have burned your forehead….

You would have always worn a huge watch to cover the little blue cross tattooed to your wrist/would have uncovered your hair/ shaved your beard/ stopped praying in the Masjid/forgotten about the church/neglected the temple/hidden the songs/turned off the Quran…

you would have been obliged to use religious accustomed sentences that were NOT from your religion just to win the approval of the masses…

you would have never felt free to act as you wished…you would have chosen who to LOVE, as they must be like you or else…. and by far that must be the cruelest act against one’s heart…to pick…LOVE.

you would have changed lanes, switched streets and felt like shrinking every time BIG RELIGIOUSLY DRESSED men walked your way or gave you the gaze.

You would have been someone shaky…hesitant…worrying…paranoied at times…

maybe hostile…sometimes violant…ouyt of fear…opression and prejudice.

Dear Racist…Dear Religionist…Dear Sexist…Dear unfair cruel arrogant condescending human being…I want to surprise you,

Allah created a universe in which he created millions of wonders and above them all was humanity…to know him…to love him…to obey him…NO ONE can identify the way…we are left to choose and we are expected to take full responsiblity…Allah is the creator, the fair judge.

Look up to the open skies…look afar to the endless waters…he wanted the world this way…open…free…and to him we shall return and each shall handle his deeds…no one else…

Not you…and Never me!

رسالة الى تاج راسى

بحبك

مع انك مغيرنى …بس بحبك

مع انك طوق حوالين رقبتى

 ولجام حوالين دماغى

بس بحبك

بستخبى فيك

بدارى جنانى بيك

لاففنى بأمان وحفاظة

وبحبك

أحياناً بزهدك…

بزهدك علشان أشترى عيون الناس

قبول الناس

بزهدك

وبتحرر منك

علشان أتنفس

عشان أحس انى والسما واحد

عشان البحر يغرقنى فيه

عشان احس ان الهوا سكن شعرى وطار بيه

برجعلك بقلب

زى ما بزهدك بقلب

برجعلك واعيطلك تسامحنى

عشان بحبك

ده مش تخلى

ده مش نُكران

ده مش كُفر بيك

ده مش عصيان

ده…مش عارفة ده ايه

 

انا انسانة…زى ما بحبك

ساعات بقلب عليك

او…او بس هو الهوا…والمية…والسما

وشمس حامية ترجع فى عروقى الحياة

وعيون الناس اللى بتحضنى من غيرك

بتلهى بيهم عنك

بس برجعلك

علشان حبيتك

اوي… حبيت سترك…حدودك…

استكانة عفاريتى بيك…استكانة مُريحة أوووووى

بتحبنى وطاير جنبى؟

مسامحنى وحاسس بحبى؟

طب افتكرلى حاجة حلوة

يوم ما اتشتمت بيك

يوم ما اتهجرت ليك

يوم ما اتهمشت عشان جريت عليك

حياة ابوك ما تزعل منى

عشان ساعات بزدريك

افرح

افرح انى مش بنافقك

افرح انى بصدق بحبك…وقت ما بحبك

ووقت الخنقة بعفيك

من لومى وزلتى

ع الاقل انت فى حياتى امانة

مش بخونك ..انا كنت بستسمحك

بستسمحك انساك

واعيش من غيرك

بستسمحك وببعد من غير ما اسيبك 

شايف رجوعى بحب

كان الاجازة من غيرك كانت وحشة

كان من غيرك انا وحدى فى وَحشة

والله بحبك

اقبلنى كما انا

حريتى فى حبك غِنى

حريتى انى اخترتك..بقلبى وبعقلى وبايدى انا

الخيانة مش البُعاد

الخيانة ابقى لازقاك فيا وكرهاك

وانا حباك

تلاتة بالله العظيم حباك

وشرياك

وعايزاك

إيشاربى يا إيشاربى…

سامحنى لو غلطت …شِعرى كله فداك

61:71

فى حديث مش فاكرة نصه حالياً ومكسلة بصراحة أدور عليه..كان النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم بيتكلم مع احد أصحابه وبيتنبأ بحال المسلمين فى الازمنة اللى جاية من بعده…

كان بيقول ما معناه ان المسلمين حيتفرقوا 71 او 61 شُعبه كلهم حيبقوا فى النار الا من اتبع سنته

ايام ما كنت حافظة الحديث ده و تلات ارباع احاديث النبى اكتر من اسمى ، كنت بقلق اوى واقعد افكر وابحث فى الكتب واقرا للعلماء عشان افهم ايه الشُعب المتفرعة من الاسلام واللى حتتحدف فى نار جهنم دى

فى بحثى فهمت ان كل مجموعة سَمت نفسها اسم وحكمت ان “طريقتها” هى الافضل هما فى الحقيقة حطوا نفسهم وسط الـ 71

فهمت ان السُنة اللى متبعيها حينجوا من النار هى غير السُنة اللى الناس فهماها…مش جلابية قصيرة ولحية وسبحة …الخ ، لأ…يا ريتها كانت بسيطة كده كان زمان الجنة مساعتناش…

 وفهمت ان ربنا مخلقش الاديان عشان الناس تستخدمها عضويات زى النوادى كده

انا مؤمنة ان تقسيم الدين الى فِرَق مش دين خالص

تسمية شوية مسلمين بـ “اخوان” وشوية تانيين ” سلفيين” وحبة “تبليغ” حبايبى من ايام الجيزة وجماعة” انصار السُنة” وعِد حضرتك اسماء الجماعات حول العالم حتلاقيهم كتير…مش 71 ولا 61…بس لو شفت الاختلاف فى المناهج بين غير الجماعات حتلاقى العدد ظَبَط

انا مؤمنة ان الدين كان مقصود منه بيان واضح لفكرة الايمان…خطاب ربانى لعقول العباد عشان تصحصح وتعمل الفكر انما الانسان ظلم نفسه كالعادة وبعتر الهدية وقسمها …ويا ريته لما فكر باختلاف عن غيره سكت واحترم افكاره تواضعاً الى الله…لأ…ازاى…ميصحش…لازم يفشخ اخوه الانسان ويعايره ان هو اللى اخترع الطريق وان اى طريق تانى فى النار وبئس القرار

ودى الحقيقة…المناهج اللى بتكفر بعض كلها متلزمش ربنا فى حاجة …وكلها اونطة ، لان السُنة المُنجية هى : حياة النبى…والنبى مسماش طريقته…وكتير كان بيختلف حُكمه على الشىء حسب اختلاف ظروف الشىء او الناس…كان سلس…متفهم…دقيق…ليّن…رقيق…حنيّن…

عمرك سمعت عن صحابى سلفى ومراته اخوان وحماه تكفير وهجره؟؟

اختلاف الناس بعد عهد الصحابة دليل تقوى؟؟

تفتكر ربنا عايز ايمان مستقر فى القلب وخير بيعم الجميع ونزاهه بترعى الحقوق وشرف متصان واعراض نقية وامخاخ ذكية وعدالة وتطبيق كل ده وقت الشدة ووقت الرخاء سواءَ بسواء…ورحمة ببعض لما نغلط وتسامح لما نقصر وعفو لما نقدر…اعمالاً برحماته هو نفسه علينا وهو القادر على كل شىء…ولا عايزنا لابسين بادجات وكل واحد معاه كتيب “رؤية الجماعة” بتاعته؟؟

هل حيبقى فيه نضورجى على باب الجنة بيكشف على الكارنيهات فيدخل الاعضاء بس؟؟ وساعتها لازم ابقى عضوة فى انهى جماعة؟؟ الجماعة اللى حتضمنلى انى حدخل الجنة لما ابقى عضوة فيها تقول..

الموضوع مش كده؟؟ كلنا داخلين؟؟ طب قارف #$$% امنا ليه يا عم؟؟

 المُسمى: مُسلم

 المعنى: بتحاول ونفسك وبتسعى انك تحب ربنا وتحب الخير اللى ربنا بيعلمهولك كل لحظة انت عايشها

الطريقة: لا طريقة…لا مُسمى..لا جماعة..لا وسيط بينك وبين الله…لا مُعلم للايمان…لا مرشد للمسلمين…مُرشدك قلبك ومُعلمك القرآن والطريقة بتاعة النبى بالفهم الصحيح …ووالله والله والله…علم اتعلمته بقلبك من القرآن أصح وأقيم ألف مرة من ميت شريط لشيوخ الطريقة اللى كل واحد منهم وظيفته الاولى هى جذب مسلم آخر لجماعته …زيادة عدد وبالتالى زيادة نفوذ بتوصل لهدف ما لا يعلمه الا الله

انت فاكر لما واحد اخوان ولا سلفى ولا غيره يبقى رئيس جمهورية حيبقى معصوم؟؟ مستبعد يعمل زى حسنى ويشفط البلد؟؟ تبقى ولا مؤاخذة عبيط..عارف ليه…عشان المؤمن واللى حب سُنة النبى مش ممكن يقعد يخطط عشرات السنين عشان ياخد سُلطة…عارف ليه؟؟

 البنى آدم المؤمن فاهم كم المسؤلية اللى عليه من حكم شعب وخوفه على نفسه من فتنة السلطة بتخليه مش ممكن يرشح نفسه ويسعى…عشان كده كان الحكم ايام الصحابة كان بالتوصية/التكليف/ المبايعة…ويبقى الصحابى من دول حاكم بلد وهو كاره عيشته وعينيه فى وسط راسه وبرضه سبع الرجال وكله بس كان يقعد يدعى ربنا انه يثبته…فتنة السُلطة جبارة

بس محدش فاهم

بعيد عن السياسة… الايمان اعلى من ان بشر يسوق قلبك له…الايمان اعلى خصوصية بين خالق الكون …خالق الحياة..اللى بيوهبك كل نَفَس…اللى سايب قلبك يدق…اللى سايبك تعانده وتعصيه وتتذاكى على اوامره…اللى صنعلك كون بحاله عشان صنفك يعيش ويتمتع لعلك تعرفه وتقدر هديته وتشكره…بين الله وبينك

مينفعش ابداً تقبل ان كلمة “يا رب” ينطقها لسانك بصوت واحد تانى غيرك انت

منهجك انسجه انت…عَرَفه انت…نقيه انت…

اغلط فيه وامسح وعيد من الاول…اغلط فيه وقطع الصفحة واكتب على نضافة…اغلط فيه وخليهادام عينك واقلب الصفحة وحَسِن بس انت….كتابك انت..بخط ايدك

 متغشش من بليد

Brief to a focus, to a raw truth

It was never easy for me to focus…through out my life, i would either see clearly or blur totally. Focus was never intended…was never a tool i used and was never one of my skills.

I was introduced to its importance a few years back and as part of my therapy. and boy, was it hard to learn to focus especially when it came to emotions…and since my emotions usually used to drive me rather than my rational thinking, it was an almost impossible thing to master.

But with time…With practice…With experiencing certain hardships that forced me to use that newly learned skill, i started to earn its bliss bit by bit, untill my mind took some of the control it had unconsciously let go of  in favor to my heart…i even learned how to intentionally lose focus when it caused a counter reaction…

And yesterday…i discovered a whole new meaning of focus.

Yesterday i was interviewed by a journalist where i had to tell the journalist a story of mine…a real life story.

Have you ever tried to tell a true painful story of yours to a complete stranger?? i mean a story that happened over the course of years…and to someone who’s not interested in you one bit but in the story…and to a cause where you are totally aware that you should be brief, 100% honest and clear??

I mean TOTALLY honest…even the little hidden facts that you always keep for yourself to keep your pride or the little lies that helped you see the situation more reformed than it really was or the little editing you intentionally did to make a hurtful story line appear more poetic…TOTALLY honest!!!

And brief…the journalist asked specific questions and wanted THE answers…no swirling around the answer…just blunt answers.

And i am someone who doesn’t usually lie…especially when asked…i almost never answer falsely to a question unless great harm is going to happen to another person because of my answer…so it was easy to answer truthfully.

BUT…it was not easy at all to view the story that clear and that blunt.

There is another set of facts that reveal when you see a story clearly. you, then, see the true meaning…the clear value…what you really did…how stupid you really were…or how ugly others were.

And a painful sting penetrated my heart…i thought: if only i knew how to rip off all the sugar-coating bull shit we do to wrap ugliness with just to humiliate ourselves…If only i knew how to see a story -while i’m at it- that clearly and that honestly and that bluntly…I would have saved myself a whole lot of wasted years and heartache…

but after a few minutes…i breathed out a great amazing sigh of relief…seeing bluntly the story showed me as bluntly that i was never at any point shameful.

I may have been blind…naive…stubborn…anything…but i never justified being shameful and i never allowed myself or anything to disrespect my dignity by accepting disgrace…in the most ugly situations i fought for my dignity…never misled it in the name of anything…even the name of love (which in my opinion is a great a greater pit of crap).

And maybe that is what really matters in life…To be dignified as a human being…no matter what happened…regardless of the story…that is what really really matters.

Thing is…all the truth, clarity and real value you need to save your dignity is laying right under your nose waiting for you to just look…

We can be focused and accept the truth while we’re in the story and before it ends onto us.

We can contribute to the scenario…we really can choose a story line…at least then…the ending would never be shameful…never!!

And to my surprise, men get it!

Sometimes it feels lonely in the ethical world.

Sometimes, I and many others i know feel lonely as we practice our beliefs because we feel better about ourselves while we do…yet some other people might see these beliefs as unrealistic, unnecessary or just weird.

We live anyway, feel proud anyway, brag about our ideals anyway.

Sometimes we fail our own beliefs but because we are already familiar with them we would always reach a point where we remorse and retreat back to a higher bar of values, that would make us feel good about ourselves again.

I, like many, when i embrace values that are not so common among the -modern society- i feel lonely sometimes…but the most refreshing thing happened to me the other day.

Let me take you back to the Summer of 1996…I was in my last college year (studied Law btw) and my Lebanese hunk of a cousin came to visit Egypt for 18 days…His mother is Egyptian so he had a nice humor and a special machoism added to his gorgeous appearance.

a few days later something just clicked and we had a super summer -totally innocent- crush ever!

He extended his visit to be one month then returned to Beirut.

We both discovered later on that a proposal was fought big time within the family…

I got married and each of us lead his different life…only a family call or email here or there kept us in touch every couple of years…but one day, about a year ago and while i was married, he decided to call me…he was emotional…I apologised politely as i felt against talking to someone i had any sort of history with while i’m married…time passed…I got my divorce and just the other day he knew from his mom so he called…we talked a nice welad khalah conversation and suddenly he said: I want to express my total respect for you…Because you were truly exceptional refusing to receive my emotional call although I AM YOUR COUSIN out of respect for your husband.

My smile was so big my cheeks hurt…MEN GET IT!! someone thinks my too much cautious is respectful…someone recognizes a value so alien today i am called mo3aqada because of.

Men respect the respectful…they read the gestures…they value the valuable.

Men, might seem OK and encouraging when we want to lose it with them and get involved in any habal…that’s because they react to an open invitation that instincly they can’t refuse and of course they’ll say and do anything to get it.

It was not a big thing…it was just a phone call…but the rule was clear in my head…the mere presence of a husband was a clear criteria for me.

Speaking of which…Women, as mo3aqadeen as i am get those 3o2ad from a very special place in their lives btw…I am speaking of mature independent women, we aren’t born with values and we have out grown the strict fatherly cocoon that keep us safe.

We have simply gotten ourselves burned/or watched closely a loved one doing it  at some point by false concepts and delusional modern dreamy sweet talk that attempted to rip the dignity and coat it with a short-term delicious sin…that burn is the base that we build a strong life path upon and a solid set of values on.

We all burn ourselves and we all allow others to hurt us at some point of our lives…but only the proud…the graceful…and the authentic know when to face the hurt and build a new vision with it.

In the phone call, I have wished my cousin the best in life…He wished me the same and we hung up as friends…no emotions were there, at least from my side…nothing but a sweet memory and a lovely recognition.

And it may feel alone in the -good world- but the time will come when something refreshing will happen and all the alienation will feel sooooooo worth it.